“Someone asked me for directions, so you can call me a real New Yorker”
It's sometimes believed that one isn't a real New Yorker until he or she gives someone directions. "I just educated 2 people about local and limited busses and gave someone…
It's sometimes believed that one isn't a real New Yorker until he or she gives someone directions. "I just educated 2 people about local and limited busses and gave someone…
"Fall" can mean "autumn," but it can also mean something or someone who descended quickly. "Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall, it took me a moment to realize…
There is a joke with the terms "occupation and "pre-occupied." "Unemployment is good now because i realized i can put 'pre-occupied' on any forms that ask for my…
The Kentucky Derby has been compared to NASCAR (National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing). "Kentucky Derby = Amish Nascar?" was posted on Twitter by Shea on May 5, 2011. "The…
A popular parking joke is: "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, It said 'Parking Fine.' So that was…
Many people find housing to be unaffordable. "Please crash the housing market again so I can buy up some cheap land" was posted on Twitter by governor mccheese on May 24, 2018. "I…
Packets of ham have a certain smell, and some people believe that farts are added before a package is sealed. "It must be the weirdest job in the world putting farts in packets of ham #random…
The expression "deal with it" usually doesn't involve playing cards, but there are jokes. "I cant deal with it....Like a deck of cards glued together" was posted on Twitter…
The expression "deal with it" usually doesn't involve playing cards, but there are jokes. "I cant deal with it....Like a deck of cards glued together" was posted on Twitter…
"The plot thickens" usually refers to a story or situation, but there is a pun: "Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment overnight. It's an absolute mystery as to why though.…
"Someone keeps putting vegetables in my/the beer crisper" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Urban Dictionarybeer crisperthe bottom drawer in a refrigerator used as the…
"Much obliged" is sometimes joked as "matcha-bliged," with a pun on "matcha" (a finely ground powder of specially grown and processed green tea leaves). "The next…
"Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Someone offered me…
Dumplings have nothing to do with dump trucks, but there are jokes. "'Someone needs to do a dumpling food truck w/ potstickers, momos and stuff. And call it The Dump Truck.'…
"Someone please call 9 Wine Wine" -- a wine joke on a "911" emergency call -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "DIAL 9-WINE-WINE: When in pain, call the…
The word "dismay" has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "Dismay: To insult the 5th month" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 23, 2005.…
"Herb traders are thyme travelers" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter by Glenn Fleishman on March 7, 2016. A similar saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts…
The year 2020 saw panic buying of toilet paper. The year 2021 saw panic buying of gasoline. This was posted on Facebook by Michael Wayne Hurst on May 10, 2021: "Someone should start a rumor of…
"Add up" means to make a mathematical sum. "Doesn't add up" means that something doesn't make sense. "Someone nicked my broken calculator at work!......it just…
"Someone stole my coffee cup from work on Friday. Just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The joke was posted…