“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door”
"Opportunity knocks but once" is a proverb that dates, in various forms, to the 1500s. "Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door" is a…
Alphebetical for "o"
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work”
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it's dressed in overalls and looks like (hard) work" is a quotation usually credited to American inventor Thomas Edison (1847-1931), but…
“Opportunity knocks only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell”
"Opportunity knocks but once" is a proverb that dates, in various forms, to the 1500s. "Opportunity knocks only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell" is a jocular…
“Opportunity never knocks twice”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe Yale Book of QuotationsEdited by Fred R. ShapiroNew Haven, CT: YaleUniversity Press2006Pg. 617:"Opportunity never knocks twice."Chicago Daily…
“Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first. Realists just start drinking”
"Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
“Optometrists live longer because they dilate”
"Optometrists live longer because they dilate" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Dilate" is a pun on "die late." The joke has been cited in…
“Orange Crush is a poor man’s Sunkist”
The soft drinks Fanta (introduced in 1940), Crush (introduced as Orange Crush in 1911), Faygo (introduced in 1907), Sunkist (introduced in 1979), Orangina (introduced in 1936), Mirinda (introduced…
“Orange in the Apple” (Syracuse University Orange slogan in the Big Apple)
New York State doesn't have a major college sports team, such as Alabama, Florida, Michigan, Minnesota, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio State, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and Wisconsin. Syracuse…
“Orange juice got the nickname ‘OJ,’ but apple juice didn’t get the nickname ‘AJ’”
"Why do people call Orange Juice 'OJ', but never call Apple Juice 'AJ'?" was posted on Twitter on February 7, 2008. One reason is that "orange juice" has two…
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?” (knock-knock joke)
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" is the punchline of a famously bad "knock-knock" joke. The joke has been recorded since at least 1960. Wikipedia: Knock-knock jokeThe…
“Oranges are literally pre-sliced and you don’t believe in God”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter little bean head @ewalkj Pre-sliced oranges are the reason why I believe in God 11:58 PM · Dec 18, 2015 X/Twitter MetaChristianity @M_Christianity 🙂🎯👉…
“Oranges are pre-sliced by nature”
"i dont know about you but i am tripping balls over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature!" was posted on Twitter by Ray Edwards on March 30, 2011. "Oranges are pre-sliced…
“Order synonym rolls. They have fewer calories than cinnamon rolls and taste the same”
"Cinnamon rolls” have been jokingly referred to as “synonym rolls” since at least the 1990s. Some jokes have it that all synonym rolls taste the same. "@drphilDONTEhue: So you think…
“Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section”
Kids often leave hats, gloves and coats at school. "Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section" was posted on…
“Ordered some German food off the internet. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come”
"Wurst" (a German food) has some "worst" puns. This joke was posted on Twitter by Roy Manterfield on May 20, 2011: "I’ve ordered some German food off the internet; the…
“Ordered stuff using my donor card instead of my debit card. Cost me an arm and a leg”
Some people get the cards in their wallet mixed up. "I was soooo pissed I went to call a cab from the phone box and put in me donor card instead of me phone card.....cost me an arm and a…
“Ordering myself a little treat because today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Ordering ravioli at a restaurant is great for when you want to spend $19 to eat three…”
When people order ravioli at a restaurant, it's usually too expensive (about $19) and the amount of ravioli is usually too few (about 3-6 pieces). "Should learn that ordering ravioli at a…
“Oregonians don’t tan, they rust”
"Oregonians don't tan, they rust" is a classic joke about Oregon's rainy weather. Ron Abell, president of the James G. Blaine Society, told jokes about Oregon's weather to…
“Oreos are just American macarons”
Oreo cookies have been compared to macarons. "Macarons are like fancy Oreos" was posted on Twitter by Mary Cath on April 10, 2010. "Macarons are basically fancy Oreos no?" was…