“My house was clean. Then the kids woke up. The end”
"My house was clean. Then the kids woke up. The end" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "my house was clean... for about an hour. Then the kids woke up :)" was…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My housekeeping style can best be described as: ‘There appears to have been a struggle’”
"My housekeeping style can best be described as: "There appears to have been a struggle'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My housekeeping style…
“My houseplants probably wouldn’t die so fast if they could scream for food and water like my kids”
"My houseplants probably wouldn't die so fast if they could scream for food and water like my kids do" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The saying probably…
“My husband asked me to act like a ‘naughty school girl’ for him so I forged a note from my mother”
"My husband asked me to act like a 'naughty school girl' for him so I forged a note from my mother saying I don’t have to participate" is a sex joke that was posted on Twitter…
“My husband says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it”
"My family/husband/wife says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it" -- that is, the speaker sleeps at work -- is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many…
“My idea of a super bowl is a large bowl of guacamole”
The Super Bowl is a football game, but many people think a super bowl is a bowl of food. "My idea of a "super bowl" is a bowl of GRUB.. preferably turkey. And lots of it!" was…
“My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself”
Football bowl games shouldn't be confused with a toilet bowl, but there are jokes. "My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit”
A good brisk walk is often a recommended form of exercise. ""My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit" is a popular joke that has been told by several people. "His favorite…
“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance”
"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has sometimes been credited to American humorist Erma…
“My idols are shadowbanned and my enemies are all verified”
"My idols are shadowbanned and my enemies are all verified" is a saying (referring to Twitter) that has been printed on several images. That is, the people who Twitter promotes are bad,…
“My immune system doesn’t have a long history of fraud, bribery, & disinformation”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines. However, many people trusted their own immune systems over vaccine makers with criminal histories. This was posted by Lange on October 21,…
“My inflatable house got a puncture last night. Now, I’m living in a flat”
A "flat" doesn't always mean a flat house, but there are jokes. "Our inflatable house got punctured last night so now we're living in a flat" was posted on Twitter by…
“My intellectual property is in foreclosure”
"My intellectual property is in foreclosure" is a jocular way of saying that one is not thinking straight. "My intellectual property is in foreclosure./@avi1111" was posted on…
“My internet bride got delivered today. She’s the WiFi always dreamed of”
"WiFi" sounds like "wife I." A pun was posted on Twitter by Dave Thomas on March 18, 2012: "My internet bride got delivered today, she's the WiFi always dreamed…
“My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them”
"My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit/stuff in person" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images.…
“My internet was down for 5 minutes, so I spoke to my family. They seem like nice people”
Does the internet make people antisocial? A joke has been printed on many ecards: "My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family… They seem like nice…
“My job as a croupier is ideal”
"Ideal" shouldn't be confused with "I deal," but there are puns. "I love being a croupier, it's my ideal job" was posted on Twitter by Arantxa Colen on…
“My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder”
A joke about having a hard job is: "My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder." The concrete job pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day on December 30, 2011. Pun…
“My job does this cool thing where if you do your work well, you get to do someone else’s work, too”
"My job does this cool thing where if you do your work well, you get to do someone else's work, too" (or "My job has this cool thing where if you do your job well, you get to do…
“My job has this cool thing where if you do your job well, you get to do other people’s jobs, too”
"My job does this cool thing where if you do your work well, you get to do someone else's work, too" (or "My job has this cool thing where if you do your job well, you get to do…