“Lap band surgery: waist knot, want not”
A laparoscopic adjustable gastric band is a type of knot placed around the top of the stomach to reduce food consumption. "I have no desire to have a gastric band fitted. My motto: Waist knot?…
Alphebetical for "l"
“Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake”
"Lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake" was cited on Twitter on May 14,…
“Lasagna is one of the easiest meals to make. It’s a pizza cake”
"Pizza cake" sounds like "piece of cake," and there are lasagna jokes. "Lasagna is one of the easiest meals to make. It's a pizza cake" was posted on Reddit --…
“Lasagne is one of the easiest Italian dishes you can make. It’s a pizza cake”
"Pizza cake" sounds like "piece of cake," and there are lasagna jokes. "Lasagna is one of the easiest meals to make. It's a pizza cake" was posted on Reddit --…
“Lashes long and coffee strong”
"Lashes long (and) coffee strong" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "May your coffee be strong, your Monday be short, and your lashes be long!" was posted on…
“Last call for alcohol” (bar saying)
"Last call for alcohol" is what a bartender might announce before closing the bar. It's not known who said it first. The saying appears to have been popularized at Joe Sherman's…
“Last month, I cut my energy bill in half. Didn’t work, though. I still had to pay the full amount”
Many people try to cut what they have to pay in half, but cutting bills in half doesn't work. "Last month I cut my energy bill in half.Didn't work though.I still had to pay the full…
“Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone”
"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone" is a joke that as been printed on many images. TV Tropes Marshmallow Dream"Last night I…
“Last night I fell asleep on a bed of rice. I was out as soon as my head hit the pilau”
"Pilaf" (U.S. spelling) is a rice dish that is spelled "pilau" in the United Kingdom, and, of course, there are "pillow" jokes. "I slept in a bed of rice last…
“Last night I made a lamb curry, but apparently they prefer grass”
There's a difference between making curry "of" a lamb and making curry "for" a lamb. "I made a lamb curry today, but it preferred grass" was posted on Twitter by…
“Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife. He said I was toast”
To say that someone is "toast" is to mean that someone is finished. That person is not literally toast, but there are jokes. "Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife.…
“Last night, I wanted to drink coffee. This morning, I am drinking coffee. Follow your dreams!”
"Last night, I wanted to drink coffee. This morning, I am drinking coffee. Follow your dreams, people!" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "This morning I felt…
“Last one in is a rotten egg”
"The last one in (the water) is a rotten egg!" is what some children say just before swimming. A "rotten egg" -- meaning a worthless or contemptible person -- is old slang.…
“Late night tweets should be called ‘hoots’”
"Late night 'tweets' should be 'hoots.' lol" was posted on X/Twitter by chip on May 26, 2010. "late night tweets should be called 'hoots' because owls…
“Late night tweets should be called ‘peeps’”
"Late night 'tweets' should be 'hoots.' lol" was posted on X/Twitter by chip on May 26, 2010. "late night tweets should be called 'hoots' because owls…
“Late night tweets should self-destruct by morning”
"Late night 'tweets' should be 'hoots.' lol" was posted on X/Twitter by chip on May 26, 2010. "late night tweets should be called 'hoots' because owls…
“Late or not, my car will not move until my bluetooth connects”
"Late or not, my car will not move until my bluetooth connects" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A car doesn't need bluetooth to work, but the driver needs to be…
“Latin is a language as dead as dead can be. It killed the ancient Romans and now it’s killing me”
Students of Latin has long said versions of this rhyme: "Latin is a language As dead as dead can be. It killed the ancient Romans And now it's killing me." A version printed in the…
“Latin’s not dead. It’s just Roman around”
Is Latin a dead language? "Latin isn't dead. It's just 'Roman' around," Sen. Charles Hagel (R-Neb.) said in 2004. It's likely that Hagel heard the joke from…
“Latkes are just deconstructed kugel”
Potato kugel and potato latkes are two items of Jewish cuisine that have been compared to each other. "Kugel is like one big potato latke, just baked" was posted on Twitter by Tara Austen…