“Knives should be named chopsticks”
Are chopsticks properly named? "Why are they called chopsticks? They can't chop fuck all. Knives should be called chopsticks and chopsticks should be called knives" was posted on…
Alphebetical for "k"
“Knock knock.” / “Who’s there?” / “The doorbell repair man.”
"Knock knock." / "Who's there?" / "The doorbell repair man" is a version of the popular "knock, knock" joke. It's an anti-joke -- the knocks are…
“Knock off its horns, wipe its ass, and throw it on the plate” (Texan ordering “rare” steak)
"Knock off its horns, wipe its ass, and throw it on the plate" is a stereotypical order of "rare" steak by a Texan visiting a steakhouse. The line appeared in the Australian…
“Knock, knock.” / “Who’s there?” / “Diploma.”
"Diploma" can sound like "da plumba" or "the plumber." A knock-knock joke is: "Knock, knock.""Who's there?"Diploma."'Diploma…
“Knock, knock.” / “Who’s there?” / “Queso.” / “Queso who?” / “Queso mistaken identity.”
"Queso" (Spanish for "cheese") can sound like "case of." "It was a queso mistaken identity" was posted on the newsgroup rec.outdoors.fishing.fly on December…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“9/11.”/“9/11 who?” (joke)
A knock-knock joke involving the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 is: "Knock, knock.""Who's there?""9/11.""9/11 who?""You said you'd…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Brook.”/“Brook who?”/“Brook-lyn Bridge.”
A Brooklyn version of the knock-knock joke is: "Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Brook.""Brook who?""Brookl-lyn Bridge. The joke has been cited in…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Cash.”/“Cash who?”
A knock-knock joke involving cash (and cashews) is: Knock, knock.Who's there?Cash.Cash who?What are you, some kind of nut? The joke has been cited in print since at least 1970. 13 December…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Cash.”/“Cash who?”
A knock-knock joke involving cash (and cashews) is: "Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Cash.""Cash who?""What are you, some kind of nut?" The joke…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Doctor.”/“Doctor who?”
Doctor Who (a British science fiction television series) is included in a popular knock-knock joke. The person at home asks, "Who's there?" The answer is, "Doctor." The…
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Ya.”/“Ya who?”/“Dot com.”
A knock-knock joke has been cited in print since at least 1976: Knock, knock.Who's there?Ya.Ya who?What are you so happy about? The joke became relevant to Yahoo.com in this version posted on…
“Knocking on the door” (close to a score)
A football team that is "knocking on the door" of a touchdown has the ball deep into the opponent's territory, usually within the 20-yard line or the 10-yard line. The…
“Knot knot.”/“Who is there?”/“Earphones.”
Earphones tend to get tied into knots. An knock-knock joke is: "Knot knot.""Who is there?""Earphones." The joke was posted on Twitter by Humourologist on September…
“Know guns, no crime; no guns, know crime” (“No guns, no freedom; know guns, know freedom”)
"No god, no peace; know god, know peace" has been cited in print since at least 1976. Many gun sayings have a similar formula. "No Guns - No Freedom; Know Guns - Know Freedom"…
“Know thyself; if you need help, call the CIA”
"Know thyself" is an ancient Greek proverb that was inscribed in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. "Know thyself; if you need help, call the CIA/FBI" is a humorous one-line saying…
“Know what’s more annoying than bumper stickers? Crooked bumper stickers”
Crooked bumper stickers annoy many drivers. The crooked stickers are difficult to read. Did the owner of the car not have the time or the ability to affix the sticker correctly? "If…
“Know your worth. Then add tax”
"Know your worth. Then add tax" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. THe saying was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2015. TwitterK I N G @ShortQuayKnow your…
“Knowledge is free. You just gotta pay attention”
"Knowledge isn't free. You have to pay attention" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying, and authorship is unknown.…
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad”
"Knowledge consists of knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom consists of not putting it in a fruit salad" wrote Miles Kington (1941-2008) in the March 28, 2003 The Independent…
“Knowledge is knowing carrots are good for your eyes. Wisdom is knowing not to insert them directly”
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad” is a well-known saying, and there are many variations. "Knowledge is knowing carrots are good for your…