“I drive like lightning. I hit trees”
A driving joke was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners on April 6, 2010: "I drive like lightening." (sic)"You drive fast?" "No. I hit trees." Twitter…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I drive more safely when there’s food in my passenger seat than when there’s a person there”
"I drive safer when there's food in my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @MrDonaldGlover I…
“I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger seat than when there’s a person sitting there”
"I drive safer when there's food in my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @MrDonaldGlover I…
“I drive safer with really good food in the passenger seat than with a close friend”
"I drive safer when there's food in my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @MrDonaldGlover I…
“I drive so badly that when I’m driving, the GPS doesn’t speak, it prays”
"I drive so badly that when I'm driving, the GPS doesn't speak, it prays" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "I drive so badly that when I'm…
“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol”
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying probably originated from a bumper sticker. "I drive way too…
“I dropped a bowl of fruit on my foot. Now I cranberry walk”
"Cranberry" can sound like "can barely," and there are jokes. "I cranberry walk after this drink!!!!" was posted on X/Twitter by Cory Thielen on November 22, 2012.…
“I dropped a heavy box of cranberries on my leg. Now I cranberry walk”
"Cranberry" can sound like "can barely," and there are jokes. "I cranberry walk after this drink!!!!" was posted on X/Twitter by Cory Thielen on November 22, 2012.…
“I dropped a piece of pasta off of a cliff, It was a farfalle”
"Farfalle" (also called "bow-tie pasta" and "butterfly pasta") can sound like "far fall," and there are jokes. "Why's the bow-tie pasta afraid to…
“I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn’t break. Concrete floors are really hard”
"I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break. This is probably because concrete floors are really hard" was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on February 24, 2019. The…
“I dropped everything to become a juggler”
"I had a friend who dropped everything to become a juggler" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Jason Buck on June 23, 2009. "I dropped everything to become a juggler" was…
“I dropped my burger on the floor. Now it’s ground beef”
"Ground beef" is the subject of an obvious pun: "I dropped my burger on the floor. Now it's ground beef." "I dropped my beef on the ground haha ground beef" was…
“I dropped my gun in the avocado dip. Now it is glockamole”
A Glock is usually not found in guacamole, but there are jokes. A popular image shows a Glock in a pot of guacamole. "You mean Glock-amole?"was posted on the newsgroup rec.guns on…
“I dropped my phone from the fourth floor, but it was on airplane mode so it landed safely”
"Airplane mode" for a phone or a computer (or similar electronic device) suspends radio-frequency signal transmission by the device, and was originally intended for safe air travel.…
“I dropped my phone from the fourth floor, but it was on airplane mode so it landed safely”
"Airplane mode" for a phone or a computer (or similar electronic device) suspends radio-frequency signal transmission by the device, and was originally intended for safe air travel.…
“I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx”
"I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx" is a popular pun on Twitter. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007 and is of unknown authorship.…
“I dropped Parmesan on my laptop and called it Mac ‘n’ Cheese”
An iMac has nothing to do with macaroni and cheese, but there are jokes. "I just spilled some mozzarella from my pizza onto my laptop. Henceforth, I shall call my laptop Mac 'n'…
“I duck my head down while pulling into a parking garage to make sure my car fits”
"I tend to duck my head a little when I pull into the airport-parking garage so I don't hit my head" was printed in the book Women Fly (2001) by Martha Dreskin. "Today, I…
“I dusted once. It came back. I’m not falling for that again”
"Dusted once. It came back. Not falling for that again" (or "I dusted once. It came back. I'm not falling for that again") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere”
"I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and cards. "I'm offering chocolate…