“If you would be pungent, be brief”
A popular saying about speaking is: "If you would be pungent, be brief—for it is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed the deeper they burn." The line was published…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If you wrote a screenplay about coffee, would it be a JavaScript?”
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
“If you wrote a screenplay about coffee, would it be a JavaScript?”
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be climbing into my gravy boat and sailing away on the mashed potato sea”
Gravy boats (sauce boats) are not boats that sail on water, but there are jokes. "If you had enough gravy boats would you have a gravy navy?" was posted on X/Twitter by John…
“If you’re afraid to speak out against tyranny, you’re already a slave”
"If you are afraid to speak out against tyranny, you are already a slave" is a sayin that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If you are afraid to speak out…
“If you’re allergic to bananas, do you go into bananaphylactic shock?”
People who have banana allergies don't go into "bananaphylactic" (banana + anaphylactic) shock, but there are jokes. "For when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation…
“If you’re always organizing things, you have OCD. If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD”
"OBCD" sounds like "obesity." "OBCD" weas entered in the Urban Dictionary on April 7, 2011. "OBCD" should not be confused with "OCD"…
“If you’re always straightening things, you have OCD. If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD”
"OBCD" sounds like "obesity." "OBCD" weas entered in the Urban Dictionary on April 7, 2011. "OBCD" should not be confused with "OCD"…
“If you’re American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?”/“European.”
A nationality joke is: Q: If you’re an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? A: European (you're a-peeing). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. 12 April…
“If you’re asleep to the truth, you’ll drown in the lies”
"If you're asleep to the truth, you'll drown in the lies" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF YOU'RE ASLEEP TO THE TRUTH, YOU'LL DROWN IN THE…
“If you’re bored in New York, it’s your own fault”
The actress and New York City resident Myrna Loy (1905-1993) wrote in her 1987 autobiography: "If you’re bored in New York, it’s your own fault. Something’s always happening. But in…
“If you’re confused about gender, try milking a bull. That just might kick start your thinking”
"If you are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking" and "If you're still confused about gender, try milking a bull and you'll…
“If you’re confused about gender, try milking a bull. You’ll learn real quick”
"If you are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking" and "If you're still confused about gender, try milking a bull and you'll…
“If you’re down by the schoolyard, stay away from Rosie. She’s the Queen of Corona”
New York City-raised singer-songwriter Paul Simon sang these lyrics in the song "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard" (1972): "Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona." Simon was…
“If you’re drinking to forget, please pay in advance”
"If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance" is a jocular sign in many drinking establishments. "If You're Drinking to Forget, Please Pay in Advance" has been…
“If you’re drunk at noon, you’re either living very well, or very poorly”
"If you're drunk at noon, you're either living very well, or very poorly" is a saying that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 27, 2017. The saying became…
“If you’re even, he’s leavin’” (speed can’t be caught)
"If you're even, he's leavin'" is a football expression meaning that if a defensive back is "even" with the wide receiver, then that wide receiver (who is often…
“If you’re ever feeling down on your appearance, remember: even the ugliest potato can become a beautiful French fry”
Ugly things can become beautiful. For example, an ugly potato can become a beautiful french fry, and who doesn't love a french fry? "The moral of the story...even the ugliest potato can…
“If you’re ever feeling useless, remember that bags of ice have nutritional information”
A bag of ice contains nutritional information. The numbers are usually zero, but that information is there. "Think about this...if you’re ever feeling useless, just remember that ice has…
“If you’re ever lost in the outdoors, just find the North Star. Its gentle twinkling will comfort you…as you slowly die”
"If you are ever lost in the woods, look for the North Star. Its twinkling will comfort you as you die" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The first sentence…