“If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 999”
"If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 911" was posted on Facebook by Katy Haseley to the group Home Groan Puns on January 30, 2024. This is a pun on "call 911," the…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If there’s anything a public servant hates to do it’s something for the public”
"If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public" is a popular cynical remark about the self-interest of "public servants." "If…
“If there’s one thing that makes me throw up, it is a dartboard on the ceiling”
A dartboard is usually put on a wall, not a ceiling. "Every time I see a dartboard on the ceiling it makes want to throw up!" was posted on Twitter on June 30, 2010. "I put a dart…
“If there’s watermelon, shouldn’t there be earthmelon, firemelon, and airmelon? The elemelons”
Watermelon exists, so many people think there should be firemelon, earthmelon and airmelon (water-fire-earth-air + melon), all called the "elemelons" (elements + melons). "The…
“If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 911”
"If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 911" was posted on Facebook by Katy Haseley to the group Home Groan Puns on January 30, 2024. This is a pun on "call 911," the…
“If these walls could talk”
"If these walls could talk" is said of old buildings, or buildings where famous or infamous things happened. "The stately walls, which, if walls could speak, would unfold many a sad…
“If they act like they can live without you, help them do it”
"If they act like they can live without you, help them do it" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. That is, if people don't value you, then don't…
“If they can make penicillin from moldy bread, you can become something”
A penicillin joke was told in 1959 by an unknown jokester: "Son, there's got to be a future for you. After all, they make penicillin out of moldy bread!" Bronx-born comedian Milt…
“If they can’t kill you, they will try and kill your credibility”
"If they can't kill you, they will try and kill your credibility" was posted on Twitter by PlRATES | ☠ | on January 8, 2012. Authorship of the saying is uncertain. "This is…
“If they come for your guns, give ‘em your bullets first”
"If/When they come for the/your guns, give ‘em the/your bullets first" (there are many slight variations) is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "When they come…
“If they come for your guns, give them the bullets first”
"If/When they come for the/your guns, give ‘em the/your bullets first" (there are many slight variations) is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "When they come…
“If they don’t chase you when you walk away, keep walking”
"If they don't chase you when you walk away, keep walking" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been used to refer to both personal and…
“If they don’t have alcohol at my funeral, I’m not going”
"If they don't have alcohol/beer/liquor at my funeral, I'm not going" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If there isn’t beer at my funeral I’m…
“If they don’t have liquor at my funeral, I’m not going”
"If they don't have alcohol/beer/liquor at my funeral, I'm not going" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If there isn’t beer at my funeral I’m…
“If they don’t have party favors & alcohol at my funeral, I’m not going”
"If they don't have alcohol/beer/liquor at my funeral, I'm not going" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If there isn’t beer at my funeral I’m…
“If they had just called it ‘the stay at home challenge’ and posted it on social media…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home. "If they had just called it 'the stay at home challenge' and posted it on Facebook then the virus would be gone…
“If they liked it once, they’ll love it twice” (Broadway adage)
"If they liked it once, they'll love it twice" is a philosophy of Hollywood and Broadway, resulting in many sequels, revivals and copycat productions of a successful original.…
“If they really hated us for our freedom, shouldn’t it just be a mild dislike by now?”
"If they really hated us for our freedom, shouldn't it just be a mild dislike by now?" was posted on Twitter by Zahra Billoo on June 1, 2012. "If they really hated us for our…
“If they said on the news we’re running out of air some idiots would be outside with plastic bags”
"If they said on the news we’re running out of air, some idiots would be outside with plastic bags trying to catch it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, you…
“If they tell you to bring ice, you can’t cook”
"If they tell/told you to bring ice, you can't cook" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “If they tell you to just bring cups, plates and ice for Thanksgiving, your…