"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got" has been cited in print since at least 1984. The saying was used in weight control and wellness,…
For a school bus driver, the problems often aren't so much the traffic in front of the bus as are the children in the back of the bus. "If all your troubles are behind you, you must be a…
“Don’t bother me, I’m eating" is a trademarked advertising catchphrase of Carl's Jr. fast food restaurants, first used on March 19, 2000. "Fuck You, I'm Eating" is…
An "HTTP cookie" is not something that's eaten, but there have been several jokes. A popular joke translates American "cookies" to British "biscuits." Another…
American astrophysicist and author Neil deGrasse Tyson wrote in 1998: "It's sometimes said that if an argument lasts more than a few minutes, both sides are wrong. A splendid aphorism,…
"If an avocado is a fruit, is guacamole a smoothie?" is an avocado saying that has been printed on an image. "If avocado's a fruit then isnt guacamole a smoothie?" was…
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterThe Dad Joke Man @DadJokeManIf an ice cream van breaks down, do they have to put out cones?#SundayThoughts11:14 AM · May 2, 2021·Twitter for iPhone Reddit --…
"Let's have illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship. We'll call it 'Aliens vs. Predators'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
"Let's have illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship. We'll call it 'Aliens vs. Predators'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
"Let's have illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship. We'll call it 'Aliens vs. Predators'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
"If you hear an onion ring, answer it" (or "If an onion rings, answer it") is a nonsense saying. "IF AN ONION RINGS ANSWER IT" was printed in the St. Louis (MO)…
"if any non-rich people want to go to space for 10 minutes i know a pretty good brownie recipe" was posted on Twitter by Funny or Die on July 20, 2021. The joke refers to a…
There have been several magazine puns on the term “back issues.” "I've been getting the periodical Osteopath weekly for years. I have a lot of back issues" was posted on Twitter…
WhatsApp (an instant messaging and voice-over-IP service) has nothing to do with Bugs Bunny and his famous catchphrase "What's up, doc?," but there are jokes. "Cuál es la App…
"If anyone ever tells you you put too much parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life" is a jocular saying that has been…
"Steer clear" is an expression that usually does not involve the literal steering of an automobile, but there are jokes. "My friend said he was thinking of buying a car with a…
"If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything please let me know" (or "If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me…
"If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything please let me know" (or "If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me…
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I'm a size window seat in plane tickets" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "If anyone…
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I'm a size window seat in plane tickets" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "If anyone…