“I’m so unfamiliar with my gym that I have started calling it Mr. James”
"Gym" sounds like the personal name "Jim" (a male name for "James"). "A buddy and I used to call the gym "the James" because we didn't know it well…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’m sorry but the scholastic book fair did not inspire a love of reading it created my love of shopping”
Schools often sponsor a scholastic book fair. This comment was posted on X/Twitter by Adam on September 15, 2024, and it received over 313,000 likes: "i’m sorry but the scholastic book fair…
“I’m starting to miss people I don’t even like” (2019-20 coronavirus lockdown)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused home quarantines, and people were under stress. "Yeah, it's bad... I'm starting to miss people I don't even like!" was posted on…
“I’m starting to think governance by pedophiles and sexual predators/deviants covertly controlled…”
Electing pedophiles probably can't be good for government. This was posted on X/Twitter by Asha Logos on December 3, 2021: "I’m starting to think governance by pedophiles and sexual…
“I’m still single on Star Wars Day. Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places”
"Lookin' for Love (in all the wrong places)" was a son in the movie Urban Cowboy (1980). "Looking for love in Alderaan places" is a Star Wars movie joke. "Honey,…
“I’m stuck between ‘I need to save money’ & ‘You only live once’”
The decision to spend money or to save money is sometimes a tough one. "I be like 'I need to save money' but then I be like f*k it,you only live once.." was posted on Twitter by…
“I’m throwing a wine and cheese party tonight. Only for myself. And without the cheese”
A popular joke is about a person hosting a "wine and cheese party"...without cheese...and without guests. That is, the person is just drinking alcohol. "I'm hosting a cheese and…
“I’m tired of eating the same shit we need some new animals. I want a 6pc dragon tf..”
"I'm really tired of eating the same shit, but ain't no new animals coming out" was posted on X/Twitter by Musically_Inclined on March 28, 2017. "I'm really tired of…
“I’m traveling to Greenwich tomorrow. I’m not sure what to do in the Mean Time”
There have been several puns about Greenwich Mean Time. "Ok, so you go to the market in Greenwich then watch meteors in the park. What do you do in the MeanTime" was posted on Twitter on…
“I’m well-prepared for a cashless society. Having kids already has me there”
The term "cashless society" means monetary forms other than physical banknotes -- such as credit cards or digital currencies (e.g., bitcoin). A popular joke is that, in a "cashless…
“I’m white but I use seasonings, so I’m cau-cajun”
"I'm white but I use seasonings, so I'm cau-cajun👨🏻🍳" was posted on Facebook by Jason Poindexter on October 25, 2022. "Cau-cajun" is a pun on…
“I’m wondering… What should I wear to the couch tonight?” (quarantine joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak resulted in quarantines. "I wonder what pajama pants I’m gone wear to the couch tomorrow!!!!" was posted on Twitter by jessika glaude on March 16,…
“I’m writing a book about drinking beer. I’m currently on my 4th draft”
A joke about drinking beer was posted on X/Twitter by Ultimate Dad Jokes on February 29, 2024: "I'm writing a book about drinking beer. Currently on my 4th draft." X/Twitter Ultimate…
“I’ve been driving a Subaru for almost a month now, is someone supposed to send me my COEXIST bumper sticker…”
The Coexist image has been printed on many bumper stickers, and certain types of cars have more of these stickers. This was posted on Facebook and X/Twitter by Ret Ram (Everett Byram) on June 15,…
“I’ve been trying to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but good players are hard to find”
"I'm having trouble organizing a Hide and Seek league. Good players are hard to find" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 4, 2015. "I’ve been trying to…
“I’ve combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it ‘Letter Rip’”
"I've combined alphabet soup and a laxative. I call it 'Letter Rip!'" was posted on Twitter by The Daily, Awful Pun (by Andy White) on April 26, 2011. "I've…
“I’ve cut down on my drinking and now only have one vodka before going to bed…”
"I’ve cut down on my drinking, and now only have one vodka before going to bed. Last night I went to bed eight times" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’ve cut down on my drinking and now only have one whiskey before going to bed…”
"I’ve cut down on my drinking, and now only have one vodka before going to bed. Last night I went to bed eight times" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’ve decided to dress as a different bread every day next week. Roll on Monday”
"Roll on, Monday" is an expression. It has nothing to do with bread rolls, but there are jokes. "I have decided, from next week I am going to dress as a different type of bread every…
“I’ve done a survey on how people walk home from the pub. The results are staggering”
"Staggering" can mean "the motion of someone who staggers" (noun) and "incredible" or "amazing" (adjective). A pun was posted on Twitter by Me Lord (and…