Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) was a self-deprecating comic. He told a joke about his neighborhood (cited in print since at least 2003 and in his 2004 book): "I live in a tough neighborhood.…
A "story" is a floor of a building, but there are several puns on another meaning of the word. A marriage joke was published on the newsgroup rec.humor on APril 10, 1993: A man is…
"I live in the South ...... where lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers" is a jocular saying about driving on the road that has been printed on many images. Many…
A "dead end" is sometimes called a cul-de-sac (a French term). When cul-de-sac is used, a different group of people can be expected to be living there. This was posted on Twitter by…
A joke has been printed on many images: "I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back next time he saw me...Wait..." The joke was cited on Twitter on…
"It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber" has been a popular bumper sticker. The origin of the saying…
A fat joke is: WIFE (looking in the mirror): I look fat. Please give me a compliment.HUSBAND: You have perfect eyesight. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003 and has been printed on…
"I look forward to paying off al of my debt, and finally getting back to just being broke" is a jocular line that began as an e-card and first appeared on Twitter on August 12, 2011. The…
People often seek the key (or keys) to success. The "key" is a metaphor, but another metaphor is often added -- that success is a "combination lock." Business author Jonathan…
Baseball outfielders often lose a fly ball in the sun. A popular joke when an infielder muffs a ground ball is that he "lost it in the sun." The Brooklyn Dodgers were leading the New York…
A joke about a "yes man" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on November 23, 2017: "I lost my job as a yes man because I no too much." The one-liner is a pun on "know too…
Zoo signs such as "Do not feed the animals" are for the public and not for zoo staff, but there are jokes. "I was always one to follow the rules...at the zoo the sign said don't…
"I lost my job making stencils. They said I wasn't cut out for it. #repundancy" is a jocular work saying that was posted on Twitter by Wobin on May 24, 2011. "Got sacked from my…
"Lost my Tic-Tacs yesterday... Now Im looking for some replace mints" was posted on Twitter by David Easaw on January 8, 2013. "I lost my Tic Tacs today.... Now, I'm looking for…
"I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
Tilda (a brand name since 1970) makes basmati rice that is the top-selling rice in the United Kingdom. "Tilda" sounds like "till the," and there are jokes about this "till…
"Bowling is the ideal sport. It’s basically an hour of drinking beer occasionally interrupted by six seconds of exercise" is a bowling saying that has been printed on several images.…
"I love coffee, I love tea" (also "I like coffee, I like tea") is best known today as the first line of the song "Java Jive" (1940, with words by Milton Drake, music…
"I love cooking children and dogs but I hate punctuating my sentences" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter on April 3, 2011. "I love cooking children and dogs but I hate…
"I love cooking with wine -- sometimes I even put it in the food." This popular quote has been attributed to French chef Julia Child (1912-2004) and to the film comedian (and lover of the…