“I just pead on the table” (pea joke)

A person who eats peas often sees at least one pea roll away from the dish onto the dining table. “I’ve just pead the table!”—a pun on peeing on the table—is a popular joke.
   
“One of my favorite things to do at social dinners is to roll a pea out into the middle of the table and then loudly ask, ‘ALRIGHT, WHO PEAD ON THE TABLE?!!!’” was posted on the newsgroup alt.smouldering.dog.zone on March 17, 2001. “I just pead on the table. *spills peas on table*” was posted on Twitter by Dad Jokes on March 4, 2018.
 
“What do you say when your pea rolls away?”/“It’s an escape-pea!” is another pea saying.
   
 
Google Groups: alt.smouldering.dog.zone
enough already!
Al Powers
3/17/01
(...)
One of my favorite things to do at social dinners is to roll a pea out into the middle of the table and then loudly ask, “ALRIGHT, WHO PEAD ON THE TABLE?!!!”  Those folks are getting mighty tired of my peas. It sure is nice to be back here where I’m appreciated.
   
Twitter 
Rosalee Baker
@Rosaleemo
I pead on the table
12:21 AM - 17 Dec 2009
   
Twitter
Robyn Howgill
@Robyn_on_toast
when eating peas with your dinner and one falls off the plate, the most well known joke is “oops, just pead on the table” :3
3:19 PM - 17 Apr 2011
   
Twitter
Ellie.
@Chastyy
Pub lunch earlier with the family.. *pea rolls of table* Dad: i pead on the table. #classicpoorbanter
5:42 PM - 11 Aug 2011
 
Twitter
*_Peter Pan_*
@Caitlan_Scorer
I pead on the table. heh. get it?;) #badpun
(A pea is shown on a table.—ed.)
6:51 AM - 15 Nov 2012
 
Twitter
Valerie McNamara
@val_mcnamaraa
My dad held up a spoon full of peas, then rolled a pea off the spoon onto the table and said “whoops I ‘pead’ on the table”
#dadjokes
1:51 AM - 7 Jul 2017
 
Twitter
liv 🎈
@OliviaDriver13
is it just my family that does the ‘oh no you’ve pead on the table’ joke? #ChristmasDay
1:11 PM - 25 Dec 2017
 
Twitter
dad jokes
@dadtellsjokes
I just pead on the table.
*spills peas on table*
11:15 PM - 4 Mar 2018