“How do trees feel in the spring?”/“Releaved.”
A tree riddle has been printed on several images: Q: How do trees feel in the spring?A: Releaved. "Releaved" (for "relieved") is a pun on the word "leaves." A tree…
Alphebetical for "h"
“How do trees get on the internet?”/“They log in.”
An internet riddle is: Q: How do trees get on the internet?A: They log in. "Q: How do trees get onto the internet? A: They log on" was posted to the newsgroup alt.cuddle on October 7,…
“How do weathermen get up a mountain?”/“They climate.”
A weather pun is: Q: How do weathermen get up a mountain?A: They climate. "How do meteorologists make their way up the corporate ladder? They climate" was cited on Twitter on February 12,…
“How do you ask out a D&D player?”/“Ask them for a D8.”
A Dungeons & Dragons riddle is: Q: How do you ask out a D&D player?A: Ask them for a D8 (date). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2016 and has been printed on several images.…
“How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?”/“President Ben Franklin walks into a bar…’”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) was a founding father, but he never became president. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 6, 2017: Q: How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?A:…
“How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?”/“President Ben Franklin walks into a bar…”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) was a founding father, but he never became president. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 6, 2017: Q: How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?A:…
“How do you break into a house?”/“Intruder window.”
"Intruder window" is an old joke for "in troo der window" or "in through the window." The joke ("he climbed intruder window") might have originated in the…
“How do you catch a drummer?”/“With a snare.”
A drummer riddle is: Q: How do you catch a drummer?A: With a snare. "How do you catch a drummer? a really tight snare! (ba-dun-shhh)" was posted on Twitter on March 31, 2010. "How do…
“How do you catch a school of fish?”/“With a bookworm.”
A popular riddle about a "school of fish" is: Q: How do you catch a school of fish?A: With a bookworm. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. 17 July 1990, State Times…
“How do you color a cactus?”/“With a Sharpie.”
How sharp is a Sharpie writing instrument? This riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 10, 2020: Q: How do you color a cactus?A: With a Sharpie. Wikipedia: Sharpie (marker)Sharpie is a…
“How do you convert an atheist to a theist?”/“Just give them a little space.”
"Atheist" and "a theist" look almost the same. The latter term just has an extra space. "How to turn an #atheist into a #theist: Just add space. #wonder #AllIsOne…
“How do you cook a crocodile?”/“In a ‘croc’ pot.”
Crockpots aren't for cooking crocodiles, but there are jokes. "JOHN ESTES wondering if alligator is cooked in a 'croc pot'" was printed in the Hanford (CA) Sentinel on…
“How do you cook duck eggs?”/“You quack them open.”
"Quack" sounds a little like "crack," and a pun about duck eggs has been made since at least 2004. "How do ducks eat hardboiled eggs? They quack them!" was posted on…
“How do you cook kidneys?”/“Boil the piss out of them.”
An off-color joke about kidneys is: Q: How do you cook kidneys?A: Boil the piss out of them. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977. Google BooksThe Kidney Patient: A Socio-medical…
“How do you cook toilet paper?”/“Brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot.”
A real shitty cooking riddle is: Q: How do you cook toilet paper?A: Brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on June 2, 1996. Google…
“How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?” (flute joke)
A flute riddle is: Q: How do you cover 12 holes with one hole? A: Take a flute and shove it up your ass. A form of the joke was posted on the newsgroup AFMC Group A Batch on March 29, 2012. Google…
“How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?”/“Apply the pumpkin patch.”
A pumpkin "patch" (where pumpkins grow) is not the same as a nicotine "patch" (used for nicotine replacement therapy), but there have been several jokes.…
“How do you decorate a canoe for Christmas?”/“With oar-naments.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: How do you decorate a canoe for Christmas? A: With oar-naments. The Christmas joke has been cited in print since at least 2005. Google BooksCrazy Christmas JokesBy Alison…
“How do you divide 20 potatoes among 6 people?”/“Boil them and mash them.”
Entry in progress -- BP Newspapers.comA GOOD MATHEMATICIAN. Google Groups: bit.listserv.deaf-lDeaf JokesHarry BlackmoreJan 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM(...)If you have ten potatoes, how would you divide…
“How do you do the wave at a chess match?”/“With your eyebrows.”
Sports fans in many stadiums do "the wave." There's a chess joke: Q: How do chess crowds do the wave?A: With their eyebrows. The joke was told by American columnist and author…