“How much should you spend on a bottle of wine?”/“About 30 minutes.”
"How much do/should you spend on a bottle of wine?"/"About 30 minutes" -- the question probably referred to money, not time -- is a joke that has been printed on many images.…
Alphebetical for "h"
“How much space do fungi need to grow?”/“As mushroom as possible.”
A mushroom pun has been printed on several images: Q: How much space do fungi need to grow?A: As mushroom as possible. "How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible"…
“How much to buy a singing ensemble?” (choir joke)
"A choir" sounds like the word "acquire." A joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on February 27, 2018: ME: How much to buy a singing ensemble?PRODUCER: You mean a choir?ME:…
“How much turd do you put into a turducken?”
A "turducken" is a portmanteau food name after its ingredients -- turkey, duck and chicken. There is no "turd" in "turducken," but there are jokes. Wikipedia:…
“How much weed am I supposed to put in this chicken pot pie?”
There usually is no weed ("pot") in a chicken pot pie, but there are jokes. "How much weed am I supposed to put in this chicken pot pie?" was posted on Twitter by steve…
“How often do planes crash?”/“Just once.”
An airplane riddle is often given as a passenger question to a flight attendant: Q (passenger): How often does a plane crash?A (flight attendant): Only once. Or: Q (passenger): How often do planes…
“How often does a plane crash?”/“Only once.”
An airplane riddle is often given as a passenger question to a flight attendant: Q (passenger): How often does a plane crash?A (flight attendant): Only once. Or: Q (passenger): How often do planes…
“How often should you wear gloves in the winter?”/“Intermittenly.”
A joke about winter mittens was printed in the "Cryptoquip" column in many newspapers on February 1, 2008: "I don't really love having gloves on my hands. THat's why I only…
“How old were you when you learned that BAR stood for Beer & Alcohol Room?”
"RT @auntiebaecc: How old were you when you learned that BAR stood for Beer & Alcohol Room?" was posted on Twitter by Jay ☥ 𓂀 on December 14, 2018. (The original tweet is no…
“How old were you when you realized the straw hole in a CapriSun is the dot of the ‘i’?”
CapriSun drinks have a straw that goes through the letter "i." Some people are astonished to be told this vital juice drink straw information. "How old were you when you realized the…
“How rich are garbage men?”/“Filthy.”
A wealth riddle is: Q: How rich are garbage men?A: Filthy. That is, garbage men are "filthy rich." The joke was posted on Reddit -- ShitJokes on November 9, 2017. Reddit -- ShitJokes…
“How strong do you like your coffee?”/“I want it to show up on a drug test.”
Some people want coffee so strong that it shows up in drug tests. This is just a joke, since caffeine is usually not the subject of drug testing. "'How strong do you like your…
“How sweet it is!” & Brooklyn street signs
Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz began adding "Brooklynisms" to some street signs in his borough in 2002. The most famous is probably: "Leaving Brooklyn?…
“How tf Subway gonna ask me for a tip, bro we made this sandwich together tf”
At Subway sandwich restaurants, the customer instructs how to make the sandwich. Some customers object to giving a tip because they made the sandwich together. "Subway got some nerve asking…
“How TF you wanna travel the world but order chicken tenders everywhere you go?”
Parents can take their children to travel the world with them, but the kids usually want to eat the same order of chicken tenders, or just chicken nuggets and fries. "You wanna travel but…
“How the cow ate the cabbage”
"How the cow ate the cabbage" means to tell everything ("straight talk"), like the cow eats everything. Ann Richards (then Texas State Treasurer) used "how the cow ate the…
“How the days feel: Mooooooonday Tueeeeeesday Weednesday Thuursday Friday Strdy S”
For many people, the longest days seem to be Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, while the shortest days seem to be the weekend of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This is jocularly illustrated on many…
“How the FUCK did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”
"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…
“How the heck do you milk chocolate?”
"Milk chocolate" is a noun. It should not be confused with the verb "milk" chocolate, but there are jokes. "Thought to ponder - how does one 'milk'…
“How the HELL did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”
"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…