“How does an attorney sleep?” (lawyer joke)
Lawyers have a reputation for stretching the truth (lying). A popular lawyer joke is: Q: How does an attorney sleep?A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. The joke has been cited…
Alphebetical for "h"
“How does an eggplant get to work?”/“In an Uber-gine”
"Eggplant" is called "aubergine" in most of Europe. This has nothing to do with Uber, but there are jokes. "How does an eggplant get to work? In an Uber-gine" was…
“How does an orthodontist hire a lawyer?”/“He puts him on a retainer.”
Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…
“How does Bigfoot know what time it is?”/“He looks at his Sasquatch.”
"Sasquatch" has nothing to do with a "watch" or a "Swatch," but there are jokes. "How does Bigfoot tell the time? With his Sasquatch!" was posted on Twitter…
“How does Darth Vader like his coffee?”/“Black.”
Several Star Wars jokes involve Darth Vader and coffee. "Q:What kind of sugar does Darth Vader prefer in his coffee? A: Imperial Sugar" was posted on Twitter by nathan_clark on April 8,…
“How does Darth Vader like his coffee?”/“Lukewarm.”
Several Star Wars jokes involve Darth Vader and coffee. "Q:What kind of sugar does Darth Vader prefer in his coffee? A: Imperial Sugar" was posted on Twitter by nathan_clark on April 8,…
“How does Darth Vader like his coffee?”/“On the dark side.”
Several Star Wars jokes involve Darth Vader and coffee. "Q:What kind of sugar does Darth Vader prefer in his coffee? A: Imperial Sugar" was posted on Twitter by nathan_clark on April 8,…
“How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck, but not a spaghetti bowl?”
"How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck but not a spaghetti bowl?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Dawn advertisements show that the product cleans oil that…
“How does Easter end?”/“With the letter R.”
An Easter riddle is: Q: How does Easter end?A: With the letter R. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.smouldering.dog.zone on April 20, 2003. Google Groups: alt.smouldering.dog.zoneThe Easter…
“How does gold get your attention?”/“It shouts Au!”
The chemical symbol of symbol of gold -- Au -- sounds like "Hey, you!" A riddle was posted on Twitter by John Mayernaise on September 4, 2012: Q: How does Silver get Gold's…
“How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?”/“One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.”
"Good King Wenceslas" is a Chistmas carol that begins: "Good King Wenceslas looked outOn the feast of StephenWhen the snow lay round aboutDeep and crisp and even." "Deep…
“How does Moses make his tea?”/“Hebrews it.”
"How does Moses make his coffee/tea? Hebrews it" is a popular pun that has been printed on many images. The tea version is the most popular and has been cited in print since at least July…
“How does NASA organize their company parties?”/“They planet.”
A popular riddle about the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) is: Q: How does NASA organize their company parties?A: They planet. "How does NASA throw a party? They…
“How does North Korea celebrate Christmas?”/“With missile tows.”
"Missile tow" is a pun on "mistletoe." "Santa knows the missile-tows the line in every way" is the line of the song "The 24 Sours Of Christmas" that dates to…
“How does one ‘milk chocolate’?”
"Milk chocolate" is a noun. It should not be confused with the verb "milk" chocolate, but there are jokes. "Thought to ponder - how does one 'milk'…
“How does one milk chocolate almonds?”
"Milk chocolate" is a noun. It should not be confused with the verb "milk" chocolate, but there are jokes. "Thought to ponder - how does one 'milk'…
“How does Santa Claus prevent himself from getting coronavirus?”/“He uses santatizer.”
Entry in progress. -- BP Wikipedia: COVID-19 pandemicThe COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe…
“How does Santa get his reindeer to fly?”/“He uses Red Bull because it gives you wings!”
"Red Bull gives you wings" is a slogan for Red Bull energy drink. A commercial in 2014 showed Santa Claus taking Red Bull -- and giving his reindeer Christmas day off. "If santa was…
“How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?”/“He keeps a log book.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?A: He keeps a log book. The "log book" pun has been cited in print since at least December 6,…
“How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?”
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? In a 1964 television commercial and in print ads through the 1980s, the answer was that the snowplow driver drives a Volkswagen…