“How much to buy a singing ensemble?” (choir joke)
"A choir" sounds like the word "acquire." A joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on February 27, 2018: ME: How much to buy a singing ensemble?PRODUCER: You mean a choir?ME:…
Alphebetical for "h"
“How much weed am I supposed to put in this chicken pot pie?”
There usually is no weed ("pot") in a chicken pot pie, but there are jokes. "How much weed am I supposed to put in this chicken pot pie?" was posted on Twitter by steve…
“How often do planes crash?”/“Just once.”
An airplane riddle is often given as a passenger question to a flight attendant: Q (passenger): How often does a plane crash?A (flight attendant): Only once. Or: Q (passenger): How often do planes…
“How often does a plane crash?”/“Only once.”
An airplane riddle is often given as a passenger question to a flight attendant: Q (passenger): How often does a plane crash?A (flight attendant): Only once. Or: Q (passenger): How often do planes…
“How often should you wear gloves in the winter?”/“Intermittenly.”
A joke about winter mittens was printed in the "Cryptoquip" column in many newspapers on February 1, 2008: "I don't really love having gloves on my hands. THat's why I only…
“How old were you when you learned that BAR stood for Beer & Alcohol Room?”
"RT @auntiebaecc: How old were you when you learned that BAR stood for Beer & Alcohol Room?" was posted on Twitter by Jay ☥ 𓂀 on December 14, 2018. (The original tweet is no…
“How rich are garbage men?”/“Filthy.”
A wealth riddle is: Q: How rich are garbage men?A: Filthy. That is, garbage men are "filthy rich." The joke was posted on Reddit -- ShitJokes on November 9, 2017. Reddit -- ShitJokes…
“How sweet it is!” & Brooklyn street signs
Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz began adding "Brooklynisms" to some street signs in his borough in 2002. The most famous is probably: "Leaving Brooklyn?…
“How the cow ate the cabbage”
"How the cow ate the cabbage" means to tell everything ("straight talk"), like the cow eats everything. Ann Richards (then Texas State Treasurer) used "how the cow ate the…
“How the days feel: Mooooooonday Tueeeeeesday Weednesday Thuursday Friday Strdy S”
For many people, the longest days seem to be Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, while the shortest days seem to be the weekend of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This is jocularly illustrated on many…
“How the FUCK did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”
"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…
“How the heck do you milk chocolate?”
"Milk chocolate" is a noun. It should not be confused with the verb "milk" chocolate, but there are jokes. "Thought to ponder - how does one 'milk'…
“How the HELL did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”
"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…
“How to approach me with your bullshit: don’t”
"How to approach me with your bullshit: don't" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by 1𝓜 on December 12, 2016, but…
“How to cook crack and clean a crab. Step one: Use commas”
"How to cook crack and clean a crab. Step one: Use commas" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. "'how to cook crack and clean a crab' is the best example…
“How to do math: 1. Write down the problem 2. Cry”
"How to do math: 1. Write down the problem 2. Cry" is a saying that has been shown on many images. Twitter💭@convomfsAutomated💭 how to do math:1. write the problem2. cry.12:37 AM ·…
“How to dress for cold weather: 1. take your pants off 2. get back into bed”
"How to dress for cold weather: 1. take your pants off 2. get back into bed" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at…
“How to eat Peeps: Throw them in the trash”
"The best way to eat Peeps is to throw them in the trash" (also "How to eat Peeps: Throw them in the trash") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "best way to…
“How to enjoy pumpkin beer. Step 1: Throw it in the trash”
"How to enjoy pumpkin beer. Step 1: Throw it in the trash" is a jocular saying that has been shown on an image. The image was posted on Imgur on August 26, 2015. ImgurWith Fall beer…
“How to fall down stairs” (a step-by-step guide)
"spoken-not-written: how to fall down the stairs: a step by step guide by me. http://tmblr.co/Z26_txpZCtlO" was posted on Twitter on July 13, 2013. When people fall down the stairs, they…