“Wednesday, also known as Monday III. Coffee, please”
"Tuesday, also known as Monday II. Coffee, please" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week, and is disliked by many…
“Who’s the patron saint of functional alcoholism?”
There is no patron saint for drinking alcohol, but some people want thee to be one. "Who's the patron saint of functional alcoholism?" was poted on X/Twitter by Northern Lights…
“I saw a sticker in the sports shop saying ‘Trampolines Half Price.’ I jumped on the offer”
To "jump" at an offer is to accept it quickly, before it expires or is taken by someone else. No actually jumping is usually involved, but there are jokes. "A trampoline was selling…
“A trampoline was selling at half price the other day. I jumped on the offer”
To "jump" at an offer is to accept it quickly, before it expires or is taken by someone else. No actually jumping is usually involved, but there are jokes. "A trampoline was selling…
“Welp, looks like another chocolate cake tripped and fell into my mouth”
People don't intentionally eat fattening foods -- the foods just trip and fall into their mouths. This is, of course, a joke. "I'm pretty sure my tummy just warned me not to eat…
“The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled-up, I’ve forgotten where I was going”
"The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled-up, I’ve forgotten where I was going" was posted on X/Twitter by Sue on December 25, 2012.…
“Whoever said ‘out of sight, out of mind’ has never had a spider disappear in their bedroom”
"Whoever said 'out of sight, out of mind' has never had a spider disappear in their bedroom" is a jocula saying that has been printed on many images. There are several forms to…
“I worked as an executioner at a gallows, but I couldn’t get the hang of it”
Some people who work or who go to school can't "get the hang of it" (understand it). This expression usually has nothing to do with hanging, but there are jokes. "Why was the…
“I was dismissed from my job as an apprentice executioner because I just couldn’t get the hang of it”
Some people who work or who go to school can't "get the hang of it" (understand it). This expression usually has nothing to do with hanging, but there are jokes. "Why was the…
“This extra layer of fat is not keeping me warm. This is bullshit”
Many people gain an extra layer of fat in the wintertime. They rationalize that the fat will at least keep them warm, but they often still feel cold. "and why isn't the layer of fat that…
“My body fat is not keeping me warm”
Many people gain an extra layer of fat in the wintertime. They rationalize that the fat will at least keep them warm, but they often still feel cold. "and why isn't the layer of fat that…
“Fat why you not keeping me warm? Fat you suck”
Many people gain an extra layer of fat in the wintertime. They rationalize that the fat will at least keep them warm, but they often still feel cold. "and why isn't the layer of fat that…
“My other ride is a dragon” (bumper sticker)
"My other ride is a dragon" (or "My other car is a dragon") is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "I have a license plate surround that says…
“My other car is a dragon” (bumper sticker)
"My other ride is a dragon" (or "My other car is a dragon") is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "I have a license plate surround that says…
“My other car is a dragon boat” (bumper sticker)
"My other ride is a dragon" (or "My other car is a dragon") is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "I have a license plate surround that says…
“Can’t believe we don’t have world peace after changing the name on pancake boxes and syrup bottles”
"Can't believe we don't have world peace after changing the name on pancake boxes and syrup bottles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to the…
“I can’t believe after changing the name on a pancake box - we haven’t obtained world peace yet”
"Can't believe we don't have world peace after changing the name on pancake boxes and syrup bottles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to the…
“Can’t believe we ain’t got world peace after changing the picture on a pancake box & syrup bottle”
"Can't believe we don't have world peace after changing the name on pancake boxes and syrup bottles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to the…
“Eating food from Starbucks be like wow that 3D printed sandwich was so good”
Starbucks is known for its coffee, not its food. This was posted on X/Twitter by david attenborough stan on Januay 19, 2023, and it received over 118,000 likes: "eating food from starbucks be…
“If I haven’t offended you yet…. Look through my posts. That shit is in there somewhere”
"If I haven't offended you yet.... Look through my timeline.... that shit in there somewhere.... #stolenquote #Truth" was posted on Facebook by Daniel Chavez on November 18, 2015.…