“Remember when Twitter was called Twitter and tweets were called tweets?”
"Twitter" has officially been known as "X" since July 2023, but many people have not stopped calling it "Twitter." "remember when twitter used to be called…
“I don’t call the shots I just drink them”
The phrase "call the shots" shouldn't be confused with shots of alcohol, but there are jokes. "YOU CALL THE SHOTS... or you just drink em!" was posted on Facebook by X…
“A farmer once tried to sell me his bull. I didn’t buy it. He was charging too much”
Three jokes involve a bull and the pun of "charging too much." "We had a bull come to our front door selling red capes, but he was charging way too much" was posted on Facebook…
“We had a bull come to our front door selling red capes, but he was charging way too much”
Three jokes involve a bull and the pun of "charging too much." "We had a bull come to our front door selling red capes, but he was charging way too much" was posted on Facebook…
“My neighbor opened a backyard petting zoo with his bull. No one went. He was charging way too much”
Three jokes involve a bull and the pun of "charging too much." "We had a bull come to our front door selling red capes, but he was charging way too much" was posted on Facebook…
“Bar light, bar bright. First bar that I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, find someone to hold me tight”
There have been "bar light, bar bright" parodies of the English language nursery rhyme, "Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the…
“Bar light, bar bright. First drink I had tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, remember tomorrow what I do tonight!”
There have been "bar light, bar bright" parodies of the English language nursery rhyme, "Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the…
“Armadillo implies the existence of legadillo”
An armadillo exists, but a legadillo does not. "No one panic but an armadillo implies the existence of a handadillo and perhaps even a legadillo" was posted on X/Twitter by feral weasel…
“Your weekends last a lot longer if you start drinking on Thursdays”
"Your weekends last a lot longer if you start drinking on Thursdays" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "It's always a long weekend if you start drinking…
“You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout”
"You can't truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Congratulations to those of you whose microwave clock is right again”
"Congratulations to those of you whose microwave clock is right again" is a jocular saying. That is, the speaker congratulates those people who never changed the microwave clock an hour…
“Today my car clock is right again. My patience has finally paid off”
"Today my car clock is right again. My patience has finally paid off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker never changed the car clock an hour…
“I might not be a 10 on the beach, but I’m a solid 8 at Walmart”
"I may/might not be a 10 on the beach, but I'm a solid 8 at Walmart" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The people who shop at Walmart are usually not highly…
“I may not be a 10 on the beach, but I’m a solid 8 at Walmart”
"I may/might not be a 10 on the beach, but I'm a solid 8 at Walmart" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The people who shop at Walmart are usually not highly…
“Bar light, bar bright. Cheers to all the drinks I had tonight! I wish I may, I wish I might, remember what I did tonight!”
There have been "bar light, bar bright" parodies of the English language nursery rhyme, "Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the…
“Mince pie is the candy corn of Christmas”
Various foods have been called "the candy corn of Christmas." That is to say, like candy corn, it's a food mainly eaten on the holiday (as with candy corn and Halloween) and at no…
“Chex mix is the candy corn of Christmas”
Various foods have been called "the candy corn of Christmas." That is to say, like candy corn, it's a food mainly eaten on the holiday (as with candy corn and Halloween) and at no…
“I feel so strongly about graffiti in public toilets that I’ve signed a partition”
"Petition" shouldn't be confused with " partition," but there are jokes. "I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition" was posted on the…
“I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor”
Many people put political signs in their yards, and this sometimes gets confused with realty signs. "Remember to double check lawn signs this Primary Election Season, I almost voted for a…
“Not all angels are in heaven, I for example am at work”
"Not all angels are in heaven, I for example am in my house" and "Not all angels are in heaven. Me for example, I'm at work" are jocular saying that have been printed on…