“If we don’t have it, you don’t need it” (store sign)
"If you need it, we have it" is a business slogan that has been advertised since at least 1907. "If we don't have it, you don't need it" is a business slogan that has…
“A three-legged dog walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular joke is: "A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, looks around, and says,…
“There’s no such thing as a bad audition” (performing arts adage)
"There is no such thing as a bad audition" is an adage popular with actors, musicians and other performing artists. If an audition doesn't go well, it's a learning experience.…
“C, E flat and G walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "C, E flat and G walk into a bar" is the start of a popular music version of the…
“Jews are news”
There are only about 14 million Jews in the world, or about 0.19% of the world's population. However, many news stories (and Internet discussions) involve Jews. "Jews are news" is a…
“Jews is news”
There are only about 14 million Jews in the world, or about 0.19% of the world's population. However, many news stories (and Internet discussions) involve Jews. "Jews is news" is a…
“Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?”
"Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?" is a jocular question that has been printed on many posters. "Wonders why Monday is soooo far away from Friday, and…
“If you want snow, schedule a downhill race” (skiing adage)
Downhill skiing races are canceled if there are snowy conditions. A modern proverb is that if one wants snow, then one should schedule a downhill race. "If you want it to snow at your area,…
“Show the door” (to dismiss; a forced exit)
To "show someone the door" is to dismiss that person. A drunk at a bar who is "shown the door" is asked or forced to leave the establishment. A business executive who is…
“The future is not a gift; it is an achievement”
U.S. Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968) said at the Century 21 Exposition (Seattle World's Fair) on August 7, 1962: "We cannot stand idly by and expect our dreams to come true…
“An Irishman walks out of a bar” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "An Irishman walks out of a bar" is a joke about a joke, or a…
“A dyslexic man walks into a bra” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A dyslexic man walks into a bra" is a joke about a joke, or a…
“A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog" is a popular joke. The dog does flips…
“A bear walks into a bar in Billings… (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A bear walks into a bar in Burnaby/Billings/Butte" is a popular joke that has…
“A bear walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular joke involves a bear who walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a…
“A default sans-serif font walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular form of the joke is: "Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says to them,…
“Back to the salt mines”
"Back to the salt mines" means back to unexciting work, or "back to the daily grind." It's a comment often made after a weekend away from work. "If he starts anything…
“Don’t take any wooden nickels”
"Don't take any wooden money/nickels" means "don't be cheated/duped." "Don't take any wooden nickels or bad checks" was cited in 1903 and…
“Defense travels well”
"Defense travels well" is an adage that has been used in both basketball and football. For example, a basketball player might not be familiar with a particular basketball court, so jump…
“What did socialists use before candles? Electricity” (joke)
A popular joke is told about a failed economic state: Q: What did socialists use before candles?A. Electricity. The "What did we use before candles?" joke dates to at least 1964, when it…