“I got expelled from school on pajama day. Not my fault I sleep naked”
"I got expelled from school on pajama day. Not my fault I sleep naked" is a jocular line that has been printed on many ecards. Many elementary schools hold a "pajama day," where…
“In hockey, goaltending is 75 percent of the game—unless it’s bad goaltending”
"In hockey, goaltending is 75 percent of the game. Unless it's bad goaltending. Then it's 100 percent of the game because you're going to lose" was credited to former…
“As the days get longer, the cold gets stronger” (weather proverb)
"As the days get longer, the cold gets stronger" is an old weather proverb. The days get longer and the cold gets stronger after the winter solstice (December in the Northern Hemisphere).…
“Sleep on it” (not make an immediate decision)
To "sleep on it" is to put off a decision, often with a night to think about it and with an answer forthcoming the following morning. "Resolve to buy a bottle, and don't…
“It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full…”
"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more wine" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters and…
“You meditate for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour”
"You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour -- Old Zen Saying" has been printed on many posters. However, it's…
Apple Awards (Guides Association of New York City)
The Guides Association of New York City (GANYC) is a private group; all members are tour guides licensed by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs. An apple is part of the…
“I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders…” (joke)
"I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders, when they said they do, I told them 'run outside naked!'" is a jocular line that has been popular on Twitter. The…
“Holy jalapeño!”
"Holy jalapeño!" is an expression of surprise or astonishment that has been cited in print since at least 1977. Several foods with jalapeño peppers have been named "Holy…
“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?” (joke)
One of the most popular of all Christmas jokes is: "Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit." The joke has…
“A bar without gin is like an Italian kitchen without pasta”
Gin is essential for a bar. "A bar without gin is like an Italian kitchen without pasta" is a saying that has been cited in print since at least 2002. It's not known who authored the…
“When you promote a good engineer to manager, you may get a bad manager and lose a good engineer”
"When you promote a good engineer to manager, you may get a bad manager and lose a good engineer" is a popular saying of unknown authorship. "One loses a good contributor and gets a…
“If the customers catch a cold, the manufacturers catch pneumonia”
A business relies on the financial health of its customers. "If the customers (especially large customers) catch a cold, the manufacturers catch pneumonia" is a business adage.…
“Why will there never be a coup d’état in Washington, D.C.?” (joke)
American influence (through American embassies) has caused many revolutions throughout the world. A political joke has been told since at least 1995: Q: Why will then never be a coup d'état…
“Protect your bagels. Put lox on them”
New York Pastrami Factory (333 East 23rd Street in Manhattan) was cited in March 1983 for this jocular sign in a window: "Protect your bagels. Put lox on them." The line (a pun on the…
“Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still”
Samuel Butler (1613-1680) wrote in his English mock heroic narrative poem Hudibras (1678): "He that complies against his willIs of his own opinion still." "Men convinced against…
“What did the grape say when it was crushed?” (joke)
"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?" begins a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1964. "Nothing. It just gave a little wine." The joke has…
“You are your best career adviser”
"You are your best career adviser/counselor/manager" is a popular saying in human resources. "You are your best career manager" was cited in print in a 1986 U.S. military…
“Creativity is intelligence having fun”
"Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun" was written by George Scialabba (Class of 1969) in Harvard Magazine in 1983. The citation was quoted in The Reader's Digest.…
“There was a fight at the fish and chip shop. The fish got battered”
"Did you hear the one about the fight in the fish shop?" goes a joke that has been cited in print since at least 2006. "The fish got battered." It's not known who first…