“Vacation calories don’t count” (“Calories don’t count on vacation”)
"Vacation calories don't count" is a popular saying. Many vacationers are advised to go off their diets to try the local foods and enjoy the vacations. "Vacation calories…
“What did one worm say to the other?”/“I’m moving to the Big Apple!”
Worms are sometimes found inside apples. There's a joke: Q: What did one worm say to the other?A: I'm moving to the Big Apple! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. Google…
“What has one horn and gives milk?”/“A milk truck.”
A popular milk riddle is: Q: What has one horn and gives milk?A: A milk truck. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1952. “What has four wheels and flies?"/"A garbage…
“Where are average things built?”/“In the satisfactory.”
A pun about the words "factory" and "satisfactory" is: Q: Where are average things built?A: In the satisfactory. "Where are average things manufactured? The…
“What do cannibals put in their soup?”/“Ramen.”
"Ramen" noodles sounds like "raw men." A cannibal joke was posted on Twitter on June 30, 2011: Q: What do Asian cannibals eat??A: Ramen. Soup is often included in the joke.…
“What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?” (riddle)
A popular riddle about eating is: Q: What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?A: One longs to eat and the other eats too long. The riddle has been cited in print since 1867.…
“Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor”
The term "laughing stock" has a pun: Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?A: Laughing stock. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1975. "What do you get if you…
Sawdust Trail (Sawdust Circuit)
The "sawdust trail" (or "sawdust circuit") refers to the churches that preachers traveled to in the early 1900s. The trail to these tabernacles was usually covered with sawdust,…
“What room can you not enter?”/“A mushroom.”
The mushroom is the subject of a popular riddle: Q: What room can no one enter?A: A mushroom. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1925. 9 August 1925, Roland (IA) Record,…
“A belt made of dollar bills would be a waist of money”
The term "a waste of money" has a popular pun: "A belt made of dollar bills would be a waist of money" The pun "waist of money" was used in the 19th century. "A…
“Doc, I’m addicted to Twitter!”/“Sorry, I don’t follow you.”
A popular joke about Twitter is: Patient: Doctor, I'm addicted to Twitter. Doctor: I'm sorry, I don't follow you. The joke was first cited on Twitter on February 7, 2011.…
“What do you call a cold burrito?”/“A brrrrrrito.”
A joke about the burrito is: Q: What do you call a cold burrito?A: A brrrrrrito. "Burrrrrito" was cited on Twitter on December 9, 2010. The full joke was cited on Twitter on November 8,…
“How do you cook kidneys?”/“Boil the piss out of them.”
An off-color joke about kidneys is: Q: How do you cook kidneys?A: Boil the piss out of them. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977. Google BooksThe Kidney Patient: A Socio-medical…
“Hit and don’t get hit” (boxing axiom)
A simple boxing axiom is "hit and don't get hit." "A lesson in the manly art of hit and don't get hit back" was cited in a 1908 newspaper story on boxing. The saying…
“What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?”/“Taller.”
Some people think that lawyer are "dicks," and there's a joke: Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?A: He gets taller. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least…
Texit (Texas + exit)
Texas is a state of the United States that was once its own country; some people still think Texas should be independent. "Texit" (Texas + exit) is a term to describe a Texas exit from…
“What did one strawberry say to the other?” (joke)
A popular riddle/pun about strawberries is: Q: What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?A: If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam! "What did one strawberry…
“So fast, I turned off the light in my hotel room and was in bed before it was dark”
The vaudeville team of Moran and Mack -- George Moran (1881-1949) and Charles E. Mack (1888-1934) -- told this joke in 1919: "Am I quick? Why, man, when I go to bed at night and turn out the…
“If you even dream of beating me, you’d better wake up and apologize”
"If you even dream of beating me, you'd better wake up and apologize" is a boxer's taunt that was popularized by Muhammad Ali (1942-2016). Ali said about competitor Joe Frazier…
“Boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other”
Boxing is sometimes called a violent ballet. Dr. Michael Dinoff, a professor of psychology at the University of Alabama, said in 1978: "To me, boxing is like a ballet, with opponents…