“Ice cream is cheaper than therapy”
"Ice cream is cheaper than therapy" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Ice cream is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment" was posted on…
“My kids say I’m hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, they’re in for a shock”
A joke about appliances and electricity is: "My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she's in for a shock." The pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 29,,…
“What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonald’s?”/“A Shamrock Shake.”
McDonald's fast food restaurants have offered green "Shamrock Shakes" for St. Patrick's Day since 1970. A riddle is: Q: What do you get when you do the Irish jig at…
“I never thought I’d get into Feng Shui, but oh, how the tables have turned”
Feng shui is a Chinese philosophical system of harmony that is reflected is many building designs. A "turn the tables" pun is often made. "People used to believe in Feng Shui. But…
“What did the leprechaun do for a living?”/“He was a short-order cook.”
A popular St. Patrick's day riddle has been cited in print since at least 2001: Q: Did you hear about the leprechaun who worked at the diner? A: He was a short-order cook! A slightly different…
“Today is International Women’s Day” (joke)
International Women's Day is on March 8th; a Women's Day was celebrated in New York City on February 28, 1909. A joke has been printed on several images: "Today is International…
“What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonald’s?”/“A Shamrock Shake.”
McDonald's fast food restaurants have offered green "Shamrock Shakes" for St. Patrick's Day since 1970. A riddle is: Q: What do you get when you do the Irish jig at…
“Your round.”/“So are you, you fat bastard!” (bar joke)
An English joke features two blokes drinking at a pub. "Your round (of drinks -- ed.)," says one. "So are you, you fat bastard!" replies the other. "Your round" (of…
“The real reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing”
Golf professionals often instruct golfers to keep their heads down. American actress and stand-up comedian Phyllis Diller (1917-2012) explained why: "The reason the pro tells you to keep your…
“‘I’ before ‘E,’ except when you run a feisty heist on your weird beige overweight foreign neighbor”
"I" before"E" is an English spelling rule, with many exceptions -- such as "neighbor" and "neighborhood." "'I'before 'E,' except…
“Why should people see bad pictures when they can stay at home and see bad television?”
Jewish Polish American film producer. Samuel Goldwyn, talking about about television's threat to movies, said at a panel discussion at Denver University in September 1950: "Why should…
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It has been cited in print since at least July 1991, when a…
“Why should people see bad pictures when they can stay at home and see bad television?”
Jewish Polish American film producer. Samuel Goldwyn, talking about about television's threat to movies, said at a panel discussion at Denver University in September 1950: "Why should…
“Rated G - The good guy gets the girl; R - The bad guy gets the girl; X - Everyone gets the girl”
A jocular explanation of the movie rating system has been printed on several images. It was explained like this in February 1973: "If a movie is rated G, the hero gets the girl; if R, the…
“You can’t take something off the Internet, It’s like taking pee out of a pool”
It's often said that you can't take something off the internet. A memorable line was said in the American television sitcom NewsRadio, on the episode "Physical Graffiti" that…
“If you’re lucky enough to be Irish, you’re lucky enough”
"If you're lucky enough to be Irish, then you're lucky enough" is a popular St. Patrick's Day saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in…
“The best vitamin for making friends is B-1”
"The best vitamin for making friends is B-1 (be one)" is a pun that has been printed on many images. The joke was published in Boys' Life magazine in October 1977. Google…
“How do bunnies stay healthy?”/“Eggercise.”
An Easter bunny riddle is: Q: How do bunnies stay healthy?A: Eggercise. The "eggercise" (eggs + exercise) joke has been cited in print since at least 2000. “How do bunnies stay in…
“Spring is not the best of seasons. Cold and flu are two good reasons”
A poem about spring is: "Spring is not the best of seasons. Cold and flu are two good reasons; Wind and rain and other sorrow,Warm today and cold tomorrow.Whoever said spring was romantic?The…
“A winner makes commitments. A loser makes promises”
American journalist Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986) wrote a "Strictly Personal" column in January 1967 that was titled, "How to tell a Winner from a Loser." A popular line is:…