“I like coffee that kicks you in the face in the morning”
"I like coffee that kicks you in the face in the morning" is a one-line saying a coffee-lover might say. "I like coffee that Karate Kicks me in the face!" was posted on Twitter…
“I’m not sure if I’m hungry, but I’m gonna eat anyway, just in case”
"I'm not sure if I'm hungry, but I'm gonna eat anyway, just in case" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Can't decide if i'm…
“The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well”
"The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well" is a one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. The saying was first posted on Twitter on July 19,…
“Democracy dies in darkness” (Washington Post slogan)
"Democracy dies in darkness" is a slogan of the Washington (DC) Post that first appeared in February 2017. Post investigative journalist Bob Woodward popularized the saying, but claimed…
“My body is a temple…to Dionysus”
"My body is a temple...to Dionysus" is a drinking saying that has been printed on ecards. "Well, you can always say that your body is a temple of Dionysus, and it’s always time to…
“Where do socialist birds lay their eggs?”/“In a communest.”
A pun on the word "communist" is: Q: Where do socialist birds lay their eggs?A: In a communest. The joke became popular in November 2016, when it was posted to Reddit -- Jokes. Google…
“Math—the only subject that counts”
"Math -- the only subject that counts" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Mathematics - the only subject that counts" was posted on Twitter on May 15,…
“I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included”
"Batteries not included" is a popular phrase on many toy boxes. American stand-up comedian Steven Wright said in his act in 1985: "I also bought some batteries, but they weren't…
“Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?”
"Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The one-liner was posted to the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“Democracy dies in darkness”
"Democracy dies in darkness" is a slogan of the Washington (DC) Post that first appeared in February 2017. Post investigative journalist Bob Woodward popularized the saying, but claimed…
“The only thing you can believe in the papers is the date”
"The only thing you can believe in the papers is the date" is a saying used by those who don't trust the newspapers. The origin of the saying is unknown. "The only thing you can…
“The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well”
"The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well" is a one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. The saying was first posted on Twitter on July 19,…
“An ego and a superego walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Freudian version is: "An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says,…
“Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job”
People often seek a job of the "head" of something. There's a joke: "Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job." The joke was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2012.…
“What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?”/“A father in law.”
A clean lawyer joke is: Q: What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?A: A father in law. The joke ws posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 25, 2013. Reddit -- Jokeswhat do you call a priest who…
“When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion”
A popular cannibal pun is: "When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion." The "taste of religion" joke has been cited in print since at least 1907, with…
“Global warming is a joke. Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up”
A joke about global warming (climate change) was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 12, 2017: "Climate change is such a joke... Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up." Slightly…
“How do you repair a damaged Toll Booth?”/“Toll Gate Booth Paste.”
A toll booth joke is: Q: How do you repair a damaged Toll Booth?A: Toll Gate Booth Paste. The pun on "Colgate toothpaste" has been cited in print since at least 1999. Google BooksThe Best…
“A plateau is a high form of flattery”
"A plateau is a high form of flattery" (or "A plateau is the highest form of flattery") is a "flattery" pun that has been printed on many images. "A Plateau is…
“Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job”
People often seek a job of the "head" of something. There's a joke: "Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job." The joke was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2012.…