Investigating the origins of American words, names, quotations and phrases. Over 41,000 entries.
"Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages. Need I say more?" is a jocular line about marriage that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
"My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit/stuff in person" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images.…
Mowing a lawn is exercise, so who needs a gym membership? "Who needs a gym membership? Just get out & creatively push mow your yd! Jog, lunge, on ur toes.. Smells great & good 4…
How can a business with record sales ever fail? A joke was posted on Twitter by SEC Fort Worth on January 2, 2017: "We don’t understand why record stores failed. They had record sales…
An employer sometimes pulls aside a problem employee with, "We need to talk." "Funny how they say we need to talk when they really mean you need to listen" is a one-line saying…
A drinking riddle is: Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on November 15, 1994. Google…
"For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back" is a jocular statement about college that was posted on Twitter by Kent…
Mowing a lawn is exercise, so who needs a gym membership? "Who needs a gym membership? Just get out & creatively push mow your yd! Jog, lunge, on ur toes.. Smells great & good 4…
A "yo mama" joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on July 19, 1999: "Yo momma so ugly your Grandma threw her on the street and was charged for littering." This…
"Escalators don't break down. They just turn into stairs" is a saying about escalators that has been printed on several images. The line is a shortening of a joke by American…
How can a business with record sales ever fail? A joke was posted on Twitter by SEC Fort Worth on January 2, 2017: "We don’t understand why record stores failed. They had record sales…
"There's an app on my phone that makes me look fat. It's called 'camera'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "OMG! I just found an…
A lawyer joke is: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight. The joke has been cited in print since at…
"People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don't want to see a band called 'Parking Violation' at the 'Courthouse'" is a jocular line about parking tickets…
"Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead" is a classic saying from Benjamin Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanack (1735). A pizza variation of this saying is: "You can…
"Low battery! Low battery! Low battery! Well apparently, you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "My phone…
"There's an app on my phone that makes me look fat. It's called 'camera'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "OMG! I just found an…
"Confucius Say -- Student who study history, will find there is no future in it" is a one-line saying that has been printed on an image. The jocular saying is modern and is not from the…
Facebook is a social networking service that provides birthday reminders. "Without Facebook I would forget 99% of my friends birthdays" was posted on Twitter by @TeenQuotes101 on December…
A lawyer joke is: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight. The joke has been cited in print since at…