“A person with an art degree walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A liberal arts graduate version is: "A person with an art degree walks into a bar.…
“You know you’re drunk when you get home, put food in the microwave and then enter your PIN”
"You know you’re drunk when you get home, put food in the microwave and then enter your pin number" is a jocular line about confusing the microwave with an ATM machine. "Ever enter…
“A person with a liberal arts degree walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A liberal arts graduate version is: "A person with an art degree walks into a bar.…
“If I had a dollar for every gender, I’d have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits”
How many genders are there? If you had a dollar for every gender, how many dollars would you have? "If I had a dollar for every gender there was, I'd have 2 dollars" was posted on…
“You know you’re drunk when you sit down on the toilet and try to put your seatbelt on”
"You know you're drunk when you sit down on the toilet and try to put your seatbelt on" is a jocular saying about drunkenness that has been printed on several images. "You know…
“The shortest distance between two points is always under construction”
"How come the shortest distance between two points is always under construction?" is a jocular line about driving that was published in Changing Times -- The Kiplinger Magazine in…
“Why did the tamale go to the hospital?”/“Tamalito.”
A tamale riddle is: Q: Why did the tamale go to the hospital?A: Tamalito. "Porque ta malito" is Spanish for "because it's bad/sick." "I'll tell you a joke just to…
“The hardest animal to kill is a school mascot”
"The hardest/toughest animal to kill is a school mascot" is a popular saying with school administrators, especially when there is talk about closing a school. "The hardest animal to…
“There are 10 genders. Because gender is binary”
Are there just two genders -- male and female -- or are there more? "There’s only 10 genders. Those who’s gender is binary, and those who’s gender isn’t" was posted on Twitter on…
“All bags of M&Ms are family size when you’re an orphan”
"Family size" means a large size, usually for 2-4 people. "Any bag of M&Ms are family size when you're an orphan" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on May 15, 2012.…
Better Quickly Exit (Brooklyn-Queens Expressway or BQE nickname)
The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway (BQE) is known to many for its traffic delays. The BQE has been called "Better Quickly Exit" by at least 2009. The nickname probably originated with traffic…
“Keep your cymbal jokes to yourself. We’ve heard them all a Zildjian times”
The Avedis Zildjian Company, simply known as Zildjian, is an American cymbal manufacturer. The name "Zildjian" sounds a bit like "zillion." "Drummers always have such lame…
“If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had…does money even matter?”
"If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had, does money really even matter?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by CM Cuck@TimRossComedy on November 27, 2012.…
Money Taking Agency (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)
The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) is a New York State agency that (among other duties) operates New York City's subways and buses. The MTA is known for starting big projects…
“6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9?” (joke)
“Why is 6 afraid of 7?"/"Because 7 8 9" is a classic joke. A new riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 26, 2017: Q: 6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9?A:…
“A tennis ball walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A tennis ball version is: "A tennis ball walks into a bar/restaurant. A…
“What’s the difference between a T-bone steak and a meteorite?” (riddle)
"Meteor" sounds like "meatier." A pun is: Q: What’s the difference between a T-bone steak and a meteorite? A: One’s meaty and the other’s a little meteor. This is not…
American Pravda (CNN nickname)
The Cable News Network (now called CNN) began in 1980 as the first all-news 24-hour television network. CNN has been called "American Pravda" by those who believe that it serves a…
“What is the color of the wind?”/“Blew.”
A riddle about the wind is: Q: What is the color of the wind?A: Blew (blue). The pun was cited in print much before the song "Colors of the Wind" in the animated film Pocahontas (1995).…
“Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as ‘you should know this’”
"Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as 'you should know this'" is a jocular saying about password reminders. The saying was posted on Twitter by Joe Penna on…