“Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday”
"Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday" is a jocular work -- or non-work -- saying that has been printed on many images. "Yesterday I didn't…
“The Bronze winner is always happier than the one who wins Silver”
In the Olympics, a gold medal is first place, a silver medal is second place, and a bronze medal is third place. Silver winners are often unhappy, and there are sayings such as "Second place…
“What frozen alcoholic beverage should you drink if you need to poop?”/“A Piña Colonic.”
"Piña colonic" (piña colada + colonic) is a jocular drink name. "Piña colonic," a mistake for "piña colada," was mentioned in the Cheech & Chong comedy film…
“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television”
"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "The human race is faced with a cruel choice:…
“I don’t work on weekends, or any other day that ends with ‘Y’”
"I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with 'Y'" is an anti-work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Cool Funny…
“I wonder if the guy who coined the term ‘One Hit Wonder’ came up with any other phrases”
The term "one-hit wonder" was popularized in the 1950s and commonly refers to a recording artist who has one big recording hit, but no other ones. It's not known who coined…
“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television”
"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "The human race is faced with a cruel choice:…
“A snail walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A snail version has been cited in print since at least 1997: "A snail walks into a bar…
“I put my heart and soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process”
"'I put my heart and soul into my work, and have half lost my mind in the process.' VINCENT VAN GOGH" was printed in the book Vincent Van Gogh, 1853-1890: Vision and Reality…
“Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?” (joke)
A school classroom joke has been printed on several images: LITTLE JOHNNY: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?TEACHER: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?LITTLE JOHNNY: But I asked first! The…
“I fetched a pail of water and ate a KFC family meal. Two things I can cross off my bucket list”
A "bucket list" is a list of things to do before one dies "("kicks the bucket"). The list usually doesn't involve a bucket (such as a bucket of KFC chicken), but there…
“Cleaning house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling snow while it’s still snowing”
"Cleaning house while children are growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Cleaning a house while children…
“Why can’t cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around”
A computer "mouse" riddle has been printed on images: Q: Why can't cats work on the computer? A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. The joke was posted on Twitter on…
Big Road Apple (Big Apple + road apple)
"Big Road Apple" (Big Apple + road apple) is an unflattering nickname for New York City. "Road apple" is a term derived from the horse manure that used to be found on roads in…
“A web developer left a restaurant before ordering because he hated the menus” (joke)
A restaurant's menu is different from a computer's menu. A comic was posted on comic.browserling.com on September 9, 2015, showing a web developer looking at a restaurant's menu and…
“An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study”
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a narrow field" is a jocular definition of an expert that has been printed on many images. The quotation has been…
“Hey, what are you doing in the supermarket?” (joke)
A supermarket shopping joke has been printed on many images: "I hate when people see me at the super market and are like. 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I'm like, 'Oh you…
“A web developer left a restaurant before ordering because he hated the menus” (joke)
A restaurant's menu is different from a computer's menu. A comic was posted on comic.browserling.com on September 9, 2015, showing a web developer looking at a restaurant's menu and…
“A friend is like a four-leaf clover—hard to find, lucky to have”
"A best/good friend is like a four-leaf clover -- hard to find, and/but lucky to have" is a friendship saying that has been printed on many images. "A good friend is like a four-leaf…
“A truck carrying onions has overturned. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on”
"A truck carrying onions has overturned. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on" is a joke that originated in the United Kingdom. Scottish stand-up comedian and actor…