“Where did the piglets study their ABC’s?”/“At a school for higher loining.”
A piglet riddle is: Q: Where did the piglets study their ABC's?A: At a school for higher loining. The "higher loining"/"higher learning" pun has been cited in print since…
“I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today” (joke)
Many people take the batteries out of a carbon monoxide detector because of constant false beeping, but often the beeping isn't false. "I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide…
“Give a Nigerian a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he becomes a prince”
A popular proverb is: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” A version of this involves the Nigerian advance-fee scam: "Give…
“What kind of band plays snappy music?”/“A rubber band.”
A band riddle is: Q: What kind of band plays snappy music?A: A rubber band. "Does the rubber band play snappy music?" was printed in many newspapers in 1935. "What kind of band plays…
“Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless”
"Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 5, 2014. That is, paying rent, like hitting a snooze button, is…
“Looking back, I wish I’d bought my baked beans online. Heinz site is a wonderful thing”
The American food processing company Heinz has a website, and there have been puns on "Heinz site" (hindsight). "You can order ketchup online! That's the benefit of Heinz…
“I’ve never seen a tombstone that said, ‘Died from not forwarding a chain email’”
"Died From Not Forwarding That Email to 10 People" is a jocular saying about chain emails that has been printed on many fake tombstones. "I've never seen a tombstone that read:…
“What is a baseball dog?”/“One that chases fowls.”
People know what a bird dog is, but what's a baseball dog? A joke was printed in the Milwaukee (WI) Journal on May 23, 1937: Salt -- I've got a baseball dog.Pepper -- What's a…
“Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice”
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" is an old proverb. "Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice" is from the "Zoës and…
“If I pass out, please note my time”
"If I pass out, please note my time" is a jocular exercise saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 4, 2012. Twitter…
“What type of sense of humor does rain have?”/“A very wet sense of humor.”
A riddle about rain is; Q: What type of sense of humor does rain have?A: A very wet sense of humor. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. funnyjoke.com.auCategory: Weather jokesDate…
“Good things come to those with weights”
"All/Good things come to those who wait" is a proverb that dates to the 1500s. "Good things come to those who lift weights" (or "Good things come to those with…
“She Will Endure All Things” (“sweat” backronym)
"She Will Endure All This" is a backronym (back acronym) of the word "sweat" that has been printed on many images. "SWEAT = She Will Endure All Things #myfitnesspal"…
“Squats? I thought you said, ‘Let’s do shots’”
"Squats? I thought you said, 'Let's do shots'" is a jocular gym saying that has been printed on many images. "Ohh squats..I thought you said shots" was posted on…
“What do you call a fireman who lost his job?”/“A firedman.”
Is a fireman who lost his job a "firedman"? "I'm now a FireMan and hope not a fired man" was posted on Twitter on September 3, 2011. "Surely if a fireman gets sacked,…
“Good things come to those who lift weights”
"All/Good things come to those who wait" is a proverb that dates to the 1500s. "Good things come to those who lift weights" (or "Good things come to those with…
“Where are mathematicians buried?”/“The symmetry.”
A math riddle is: Q: Where are mathematicians buried?A: The symmetry. "Symmetry" sounds like "cemetery." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. tesMy favourite…
“What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?”/“A walnut.”
A "walnut" is not a literal "wall nut," but there's a riddle: Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?A: A walnut. The joke was posted on Twitter on…
“Have you seen the Dalmatian website?”/“No - haven’t spotted it so far.”
A Dalmatian website pun is: Q: Have you seen the Dalmatian website?A: No - haven't spotted it so far. The Dalmatian joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Dalmatian…
“Have you seen the hypnosis website?”/“Yes, but it put me to sleep.”
A hypnosis website pun is: Q: Have you seen the hypnosis website?A: Yes, but it put me to sleep. The hypnosis joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March 9,…