“Squats? I thought you said, ‘Let’s do shots’”
"Squats? I thought you said, 'Let's do shots'" is a jocular gym saying that has been printed on many images. "Ohh squats..I thought you said shots" was posted on…
“What do you call a fireman who lost his job?”/“A firedman.”
Is a fireman who lost his job a "firedman"? "I'm now a FireMan and hope not a fired man" was posted on Twitter on September 3, 2011. "Surely if a fireman gets sacked,…
“Good things come to those who lift weights”
"All/Good things come to those who wait" is a proverb that dates to the 1500s. "Good things come to those who lift weights" (or "Good things come to those with…
“Where are mathematicians buried?”/“The symmetry.”
A math riddle is: Q: Where are mathematicians buried?A: The symmetry. "Symmetry" sounds like "cemetery." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. tesMy favourite…
“What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?”/“A walnut.”
A "walnut" is not a literal "wall nut," but there's a riddle: Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?A: A walnut. The joke was posted on Twitter on…
“Have you seen the Dalmatian website?”/“No - haven’t spotted it so far.”
A Dalmatian website pun is: Q: Have you seen the Dalmatian website?A: No - haven't spotted it so far. The Dalmatian joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Dalmatian…
“Have you seen the hypnosis website?”/“Yes, but it put me to sleep.”
A hypnosis website pun is: Q: Have you seen the hypnosis website?A: Yes, but it put me to sleep. The hypnosis joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March 9,…
“In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right”
"In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
“Have you seen the bus website?”/“Yes - it’s just the ticket!”
A bus joke is: "Have you seen the bus website?""Yes - it's just the ticket!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March 9,…
“Have you seen the new fruitcake website?”/“Yes - it’s my currant favorite!”
A fruitcake website pun is: Q: Have you seen the new fruitcake website?A: Yes - it's my currant favourite! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March…
“Have you seen the boxing website?”/“Yes, it really knocked me out!”
A boxing website pun is: Q: Have you seen the boxing website?A: Yes, it really knocked me out! The boxing joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March 9,…
“Have you seen the umbrella website?”/“Yes, but it went right over my head.”
An umbrella website pun is: Q: Have you seen the umbrella website?A: Yes, but it went right over my head. The umbrella joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes…
“Have you seen the dynamite website?”/“Yes, it really blew my mind.”
A dynamite website pun is: Q: Have you seen the dynamite website?A: Yes, it really blew my mind. The dynamite joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March 9,…
“Have you seen the baked bean website?”/“I’ve only just got wind of it.”
A baked beans website pun is: Q: Have you seen the baked bean website?A: I've only just got wind of it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March 9,…
“Have you seen the new fishing website?”/“No, it’s not online yet.”
A fishing website pun is: Q: Have you seen the new fishing website?A: No, it's not online yet. The "online"/"on line" joke has been cited in print since at least 2001.…
“What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?”/“Udder chaos.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?A: Udder chaos. "Udder" sounds like "utter." The cow joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Funny…
“What do you call a frog spy?”/“A croak and dagger agent.”
A frog riddle is: Q: What do you call a frog spy?A: A croak and dagger agent. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1978. Wikipedia: Cloak and dagger"Cloak and dagger" refers to…
“What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?”/“Its bark was much worse than its bite.”
A dog riddle is: Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?A: Its bark was much worse than its bite. The garlic joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. 5 January 2003,…
“Eating peanuts is just making peanut butter with your teeth”
There's more to peanut butter than simply crushing peanuts, but many people don't think that way. "I love eating peanuts then mashing them with your teeth then BAM! Instant peanut…
“What idiot called it a paternity test and not a pop quiz?”
"Is a paternity test a pop quiz?" is a jocular question that was asked on the newsgroup Google Groups: alt.callahans on July 29, 1992. "Pop quiz — paternity test" was…