“As I get older, ‘paid off’ sounds a lot better than ‘brand new’”
"As I/you get older, 'paid off' sounds so much better than 'brand new'" (or "As I/you get older, 'paid off' sounds a lot better than 'brand…
“Coffee is my fossil fuel”
"Coffee is my fuel" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "iced coffee is my fuel" was posted on X/Twitter by Alaina on June 26, 2007. "Iced coffee is my…
“Coffee is my jet fuel”
"Coffee is my fuel" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "iced coffee is my fuel" was posted on X/Twitter by Alaina on June 26, 2007. "Iced coffee is my…
“Coffee is my rocket fuel”
"Coffee is my fuel" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "iced coffee is my fuel" was posted on X/Twitter by Alaina on June 26, 2007. "Iced coffee is my…
“Coffee is my brain fuel”
"Coffee is my fuel" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "iced coffee is my fuel" was posted on X/Twitter by Alaina on June 26, 2007. "Iced coffee is my…
“Coffee is my daily fuel”
"Coffee is my fuel" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "iced coffee is my fuel" was posted on X/Twitter by Alaina on June 26, 2007. "Iced coffee is my…
“‘Sugar free’ is code for ‘we replaced the sugar with something even worse for you’”
"'Sugar free' is code for 'we replaced the sugar with something even worse for you'" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "A reminder that…
“Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention?”
"Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was born during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, when many…
“Why read dystopian fiction when you can just watch the news?”
"Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was born during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, when many…
“Why read dystopian fiction when you can just read the news instead?”
"Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was born during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, when many…
“A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It’s a gnocchia”
Nokia (a Finnish telecommunications, information technology company) and gnocchi (Italian dumplings) shouldn't be confused, but there are jokes. "My new mobile phone is shaped like an…
“Get up. Dust off. Yell Fuck. Start again”
"Get up. Dust off. Yell Fuck. Start again" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Pick yourself up, Take a deep breath, Dust yourself off, And start all over again"…
“I love going outdoors. It’s much safer than going out windows”
"I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going out windows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Out windows" is sometimes written as…
“I love going outdoors. It’s much safer than going outwindows”
"I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going out windows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Out windows" is sometimes written as…
“Inner peace starts with a good glass of wine”
"Inner peace starts with a good glass of wine" is a wine saying that has been printed on several images. "Inner peace starts with good wine" was posted on X/Twitter by Simply…
“I sleep in a castle once every two weeks. It’s my fort night”
A fortnight joke was posted on X/Twitter by FizzySnood on August 23, 2015: " I sleep in a castle once every two weeks. It's my fort night." Wikipedia: Fortnight A fortnight is a unit…
“The standard American diet gives you standard American diseases which puts you on standard American drugs”
"The standard American diet gives you standard American diseases which puts you on standard American drugs" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying (shown on an…
“Convenient napkin dispenser lets you grab either a handful of 50 napkins or tear a small corner off 1 napkin”
"Convenient napkin dispenser lets you grab either a handful of 50 napkins or tear a small corner off 1 napkin" is a saying that was printed in The Babylon Bee on June 28, 2022. The napkin…
“Male birth control is free and it’s called holding a fish in your profile photo”
"Male birth control is free and it's called holding a fish in your profile photo" is a joke that has been printed on many images. Women, according to this saying, and not interested…
“My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab potential taco thieves”
"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab (potential) taco thieves" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Tacos are usually eaten with…