“What’s the best way to serve a stack of puncakes?”/“Syruptitiously.”
"Syruptitiously" is a portmanteau of the words "syrup" and "surreptitiously." "Pass the Log Cabin, said Tom syruptitiously" is a Tom Swifty that was posted…
“Baking is mostly just gluing broken plants back together with eggs”
A definition of baking was posted on Reddit -- SHowerthoughts on April 2, 2019: "Baking is mostly just gluing broken plants back together with eggs." “Cooking is an art, baking is a…
“Good things happen to cheap stocks” (Wall Street adage)
"Good things happen to cheap stocks" is a Wall Street expression, meaning that with something priced so cheaply, the only way it can go is up. "Good things happen to cheap stocks and…
“What’s the difference between a bond and a bond trader?”/“The bond matures.”
A classic Wall Street riddle is: Q: What's the difference between a bond and a bond trader?A: The bond matures. The joke was printed in the Chicago (IL) Sun-Times on October 7, 1987. A similar…
“See Miracles In Life Everyday” (“smile” backronym)
"See Miracles In Life Everyday" is a backronym (back acronym) of the word "smile" that has been printed on many images. "SMILE : See Miracles In Life Everyday" was…
“A true friend sees the pain in your eyes, even when you have a big smile on your face”
"A true friend sees the pain in your eyes, even when you have a big smile on your face" or "A real/true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes, while everyone else believes…
“Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity”
"Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Its funny how positive…
“Champions don’t become champions in the ring—they are merely recognized there”
"Champions don't become champions in the ring -- they are merely recognized there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author, speaker and pastor John C.…
“My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said ‘less McDonald’s’”
"My doctor said I should eat more Taco Bell. He actually said 'Less McDonald's', but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant" was posted on Twitter by Hakim Givens on…
“Honk if one of my kids flies out” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if a kid falls out" (or "Honk if the kids fall out" or "Honk if one of my kids flies out" or "Honk if a kid fell out") is a jocular saying that has…
“Honk if parts fall off” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if (you see) parts fall off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "I saw a funny bumpersticker on an old pickup truck yesterday: Honk If You See…
“Honk if a kid falls out” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if a kid falls out" (or "Honk if the kids fall out" or "Honk if one of my kids flies out" or "Honk if a kid fell out") is a jocular saying that has…
“Honk if you see parts fall off” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if (you see) parts fall off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "I saw a funny bumpersticker on an old pickup truck yesterday: Honk If You See…
“If the front of your shirt isn’t wet, did you ever really wash the dishes?”
Is it possible to wash dishes and still have a dry shirt? Many people don't think so. "If the front of your shirt isn't wet, did you ever really wash the dishes?" was posted on…
“If I wanted the government in my womb, I’d fuck a Senator”
"If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd fuck a Senator" is a women's rights saying that has been printed on many images. "If I wanted the government in my womb,…
“This house isn’t dusty. It’s sprinkled with fairy dust”
"This house isn't dusty. It's sprinkled with fairy dust" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several signs. "This house isn't dusty it's sprinkled with…
“I saw a sign that said ‘Slow Deer Crossing.’ Why don’t the deer just run faster?”
A "SLOW -- Deer Crossing" sign shouldn't be read as "slow deer crossing," but there are jokes. A Nancy comic strip on May 3, 1967, showed a fast deer sprinting in front of…
Stairway to Nowhere (nickname of Vessel at Hudson Yards)
"Vessel" is the name of the Thomas Heatherwick-designed structure at the Hudson Yards on the West Side of Manhattan, opened on March 15, 2019. The honeycomb-like structure has 154 flights…
“Eat. Sleep. Go to clinicals. Freak out. Study for exams. Freak out. Slay. Repeat”
"Eat. Sleep. Study. Repeat." is a jocular school saying that has been printed on many images. "Study, read, eat, sleep, class, study, read, eat, sleep, clinicals, study, read, eat,…
“If you think lawyer jokes are funny—next time you’re in a jam, call a comedian”
"If you think lawyer jokes are funny -- next time you're in jail, call a comedian" is an anti-"lawyer joke" saying that has been printed on several images. "If you…