“Throw the book at him/her” (give the maximum penalty)
To legally "throw the book at" someone is to charge a person (if a prosecutor) or penalize a person (if a judge) very severely. The "book" is a law book, and the throwing is…
“I can eat a lot of sweet potatoes because I am polyyamorous”
"Polyamorous" means having relationships with multiple partners. It does not mean the love of many yams -- poly yam -- but there are jokes. "I'm polyYAMorous!…
“Notches on one’s bedpost” (sexual conquests)
In war or in hunting, a person might keep track of kills by making notches in a gun (or somewhere else). "Notches on one's bedpost" is a similar record, but of one's sexual…
“What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?”/“Lucky.”
A Thanksgiving riddle was posted on Twitter by Dr. Laura on November 26, 2014: Q: What do you call a turkey after Thanksgiving? A: Lucky. A slight variation was posted on Twitter by Joan Yazze…
“What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?”/”‘House’ it going?”
"House" sounds like "how's." A realtor (real estate agent) riddle is: Q: What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?A: "House it going?" "RT…
“The gym is the only place where the customers work harder than the employees”
Gym customers pay to work out. "The gym; the one place where the customers work harder than the employees" was posted on Twitter by BradAndBoojie on January 19, 2015. "The gym’s…
“It’s risky to buy soda right after an earthquake”
People know that soda has fizz and shouldn't be shaken before opening. But what happens after an earthquake? "Never open a can of soda after an earthquake" was posted on Twitter by…
“My friend got fired from his cow milking job. He was a danger to himself and udders”
"Udders" can sound like "others," and, of course, there are jokes. "Psychotic calves are a danger to themselves and udders" was posted on Twitter by ribbles on March…
“A bra, car battery and some jumper cables walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version combines these jokes: . “A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
“Sorry I’m late. Traffic is exactly how it’s been every day and I was not expecting that”
Many people who are late for work use the traffic as an excuse. However, the traffic is often bad every day. A joke was posted on Twitter by Karen Kilgariff on November 17, 2019: "Sorry I’m…
“In the ballpark” (“In the ball park,” also “In the same ballpark,” “In the right ballpark”)
Wiktionary: in the ballparkPrepositional phrasein the ballpark1. (figuratively) In the same general vicinity (as); somewhat similar (to); typically construed with of. (Oxford English…
“Can someone give me a rough idea of how much a ballpark would cost?”
The term "ballpark figure" means a rough amount. It doesn't mean the rough amount of money that it takes to purchase a ballpark, but there are jokes. "Can anyone give me a rough…
“Can someone give me a rough idea of how much a ball park would cost?”
The term "ballpark figure" means a rough amount. It doesn't mean the rough amount of money that it takes to purchase a ballpark, but there are jokes. "Can anyone give me a rough…
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read”
Many people don't read the small print of terms and conditions, simply accepting them and hoping for the best. A version of the Serenity Prayer was on Twitter by Shari VanderWerf on June 24,…
Ballpark Estimate (Ball Park Estimate; Ball Park Figure)
A "ball park (ballpark) figure" -- also called a "ball park (ballpark) estimate" -- is a rough guess, usually at the cost of something. The dimensions of a ballpark are known.…
Ballpark Figure (Ball Park Figure; Ball Park Estimate)
A "ball park (ballpark) figure" -- also called a "ball park (ballpark) estimate" -- is a rough guess, usually at the cost of something. The dimensions of a ballpark are known.…
“What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?”/“Shakespeare.”
A riddle on English playwright William Shakespeare's name was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 11, 2014: Q: What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?A: Shakespeare (shakes spear).…
Seven Year Itch
The "seven year itch" (also "seven-year itch" or "seven years itch") is an attack of scabies, said to keep the victim scratching for seven years or more. "Seven…
“An educated citizenry is a vital requisite for our survival as a free people”
"An educated citizenry is a vital requisite for our survival as a free people" is a saying that has been printed on several images. It has been credited to American founding father Thomas…
Complete Bull Shit (CBS nickname)
CBS (the initials of the original name of the Columbia Broadcasting System) is an American broadcast television and radio network. "Complete Bull Shit" is an unflattering nickname based…