“If you’re homeschooled, all your work is homework”
Many people are schooled at home. "Since I am home schooled all my work is homework" was posted on Twitter on February 12, 2009. "Being home schooled all work is homework. *lame…
“You know people think you are tall AND fat if they ask if you play football instead of basketball”
Tall people frequently get asked if they play basketball. Fat (and tall) people frequently get asked if they play football. This was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on April 2, 2020: "You…
“Glad I didn’t waste my money buying a planner for 2020” (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic changed everyone's plans. Many people bought 2020 planners, and regretted it. "Biggest waste of money: 2020 planner" was posted on Twitter by…
“I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my sarcasm”
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“Now I know why dogs get so excited to go for walks”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Many people anxiously waited until they could leave their homes. "After 3 days, I now understand why the dog gets so excited about…
“Biggest waste of money: my 2020 planner” (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic changed everyone's plans. Many people bought 2020 planners, and regretted it. "Biggest waste of money: 2020 planner" was posted on Twitter by…
“When you work from home, all work is homework”
Many people are schooled at home. "Since I am home schooled all my work is homework" was posted on Twitter on February 12, 2009. "Being home schooled all work is homework. *lame…
“Anyone else’s car getting 3 weeks to the gallon?” (quarantine joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Many people stayed at home and didn't drive their cars. "Anyone else getting two weeks to the gallon out of their car lately...…
“Relish is just pickle salsa”
Relish has often been compared to salsa. "Relish is just pickle salsa" was posted on Twitter by @zombot on March 21, 2012. "Relish is pickle salsa" was posted on Reddit --…
“I asked a Walmart worker where I could find the nuts. He said they’re in the toilet paper aisle”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic created panic buying of toilet paper. "I asked the Assistant at Tesco where I could find the nuts. She said, 'They are all in the toilet paper aisle…
“Whoever said one person can’t change the world never ate an undercooked bat”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic began, according to one theory, when someone in Wuhan, China, ate an undercooked bat. "Whoever said that one person cant change the world never ate an…
“It happened! I finally got laid…... Off”
"Getting laid" and "getting laid off" are different things, but there are jokes. "Hey guys I finally got laid..., ...off" was posted on Twitter by Horse Head Huffer on…
Coronial (someone conceived during the time of the coronavirus)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to quarantines, and many people speculated that there would be a baby boom nine months later. The generation was referred to as "Coronial."…
Lirus (lie + virus)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many skeptics, who called it a "lirus" (lie + virus). "Infected with the Lirus? (that's a cross between a lie and a virus)"…
Lierus (lie + virus)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many skeptics, who called it a "lierus" (lie + virus). "Corona Virus? More like Corona Lierus" was posted on Twitter by Mitchel…
Coronageddon (coronavirus + Armageddon)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was viewed as an Armageddon by many, resulting in the portmanteau term "Coronageddon" (coronavirus + Armageddon). "Coronageddon" was posted on…
“What does a pear tree do before growing its fruit?”/“It pre-pears.”
The word "prepare" as nothing to do with pears, but there are jokes. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 30, 2020: Q: What does a pear tree do before growing it's…
“Married men told their wives, ‘I’ll do that when I have the time’” (quarantine joke)
Married men put off things by telling their wives, "I'll do that when I have the time." The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic gave them that time. "My thoughts go out to all those…
“Why are people so tired on April 1st?”/“Because they just finished a 31-day March.”
A popular April riddle is: Q: Why are people so tired on April 1st?A: Because they just finished a 31-day March. The joke -- often involving soldiers or scouts -- has been cited in print since at…
“Had too much wine last night. Have no idea how I got home from the sofa”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led many to isolate in their homes. Liquor stores were open and were deemed essential businesses. This was posted on Twitter by Randi Mayem Singer on March 31,…