Happytalism (happy + -talism)
"Happytalism" (happy + -talism) is defined by the United Nations New World Order: "Happytalism is a new economic paradigm which places happiness, well-being, and freedom at the…
Social Pisstancing (social distancing + pissing)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made "social distancing" popular. "Social pisstancing" (social distancing + pissing) is when men use social distancing at the urinals in a…
“Cereal tastes much better at night”
Many people believe that cereal tastes better at night than it does at breakfast.Perhaps that is because at night, cereal becomes a snack (a guilty pleasure) and a much-needed sugar boost.…
“I was going to post about my afternoon run, but I was autocorrected to afternoon rum”
"Run" and "rum" should not be confused. "@BKnockin afternoon run or rum? I like the latter ;)" was posted on Twitter by Michelle “MBennz” Bennett on January 5,…
“I’m no scientist, but has anyone tried killing the rona with the bowling alley shoe spray yet?”
Many people wanted to know during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic: just how effective is bowling alley shoe spray? "Have we tried fighting the corona with bowling alley shoe spray" was…
“My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone trying on summer clothes”
Many people gain weight in the winter. "My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone trying on summer clothes. http://some.ly/H10Dlu5" was posted on Twitter by Jay Maligaya on May 19, 2015,…
“I’ve always wanted to get a manatee.”/“Thank you. Two sugars, please.”
"Manatee" (a large, fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous marine mammal) should not be confused with "man a tea," but there are jokes. "My wife and I were talking about obscure…
Masktard (face mask + retard)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Masktard" (face mask + retard) represents someone who wears a mask, or is a fanatic that everyone…
“What’s the opposite of formaldehyde?”/ “Casualdejekyll.”
"Formaldehyde" has nothing to do with the gothic novella Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (1886) by Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson, but there are jokes. This was posted on…
“I’m going to unlike this page. Right after I post about unliking this page…”
A social media meme shows an angry, spoiled child supposedly yellling: "I'M GOING TO UNLIKE THIS PAGERIGHT AFTER I POST ABOUT UNLIKING THIS PAGE AND HANG AROUND TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE SAY…
“Memorial Day—honor their deaths by questioning anyone calling for more of them”
A popular Memorial Day saying was posted on Facebook by Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian (and on Twitter by Mrs. Betty Bowers) on May 26, 2012: "Memorial Day -- honor their…
“Romance novels written during COVID?19: ‘As she slowly slipped her mask down…’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some changes to romance novels. "Romance novels written during COVID 19 will be like ..... as she slowly slipped her mask down and removed her…
“The CDC says to disinfect the places that you touch the most. Don’t do it, it freaking burns!”
"A Lysol commercial just said to disinfect the thing you touch the most. Fuck!!! This is gonna burn" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by Mark on February 20, 2011. "THE…
“When you look at Twitter’s trending topics, it’s easier to understand…”
Many people on social media are not too bright. "Take a look at trending topics on Twitter and you'll understand why they have to write 'do not eat' on dry silica packets"…
“The Lysol commercial told me to disinfect the things I touch the most. This is going to burn”
"A Lysol commercial just said to disinfect the thing you touch the most. Fuck!!! This is gonna burn" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by Mark on February 20, 2011. "THE…
“After spending any amount of time on social media you can understand…”
Many people on social media are not too bright. "Take a look at trending topics on Twitter and you'll understand why they have to write 'do not eat' on dry silica packets"…
“If you let social media get to you, I can imagine what real life be doing to your ass”
Many people take social media much too seriously. "If you let social media get to you i can only imagine what real life does to you" was posted on Twitter by Shiloh_ on August 9, 2017.…
“I stood waving at my neighbor for 10 minutes before realizing she was just cleaning her windows”
"I stood waving to my neighbour for 10 minutes this morning before realising she was just cleaning her windows" is a joke that was posted on Facebook by Paulo Raulino on May 18, 2020. The…
“If you let social media get to you, I can only imagine what real life does to you”
Many people take social media much too seriously. "If you let social media get to you i can only imagine what real life does to you" was posted on Twitter by Shiloh_ on August 9, 2017.…
“Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without letting him feel your boot”
"Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes" (or "Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without scuffing the shine on his…