“Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas”
"Umbrellas are a win for short people in the battle against the tall people. "argh my eye!" #fb" was posted on Twitter by Tom Gordon on August 4, 2009. "You know what…
“How do hedge fund workers jerk off?”/“They give it a short squeeze.”
The GameStop short squeeze resulted in this riddle on Reddit -- Jokes on January 28, 2021: Q: How do hedge fund workers jerk off?A: They give it a short squeeze. "How do hedge fund workers…
“Why were the coffee beans upset?”/“Because they were grounded.”
A coffee riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 24, 2015: Q: Why were the coffee beans upset?A: Because they were grounded. This was the "Laugh of the Day" on…
“Yeast breads are made from fungus farts”
"fungus farts = bread" was posted on Twitter by Kevin on April 26, 2011. "Primary ingredients of bread: flour and fungus farts" was posted on Twitter by Justin K Phillips on…
“Why were the coffee beans upset?”/“Because they got roasted.”
A coffee riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 24, 2015: Q: Why were the coffee beans upset?A: Because they were grounded. This was the "Laugh of the Day" on…
“Yeast makes bread fluffy by eating sugar and filling it with fungus farts”
"fungus farts = bread" was posted on Twitter by Kevin on April 26, 2011. "Primary ingredients of bread: flour and fungus farts" was posted on Twitter by Justin K Phillips on…
“Hotels offer you free breakfast not as a perk, but so that you get up and check out earlier”
"Hotels offer you free breakfast not as a perk, but so that you get up and check out earlier" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on January 27, 2021. A person in the comments…
“Scientists have discovered that people will believe anything when you claim scientists…”
"Scientists have discovered that people will believe anything when you claim scientists have discovered it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere”
"If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there" is a jocular anti-jogging saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
“Ignorance is the single greatest tool of oppression”
"The single greatest tool of oppression is ignorance" (or "Ignorance is the single greatest tool of oppression") is a saying that has been printed on many images. A discussion…
“I’m an amateur crastinator, but I’m hoping to go pro eventually”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“I’m an amateur crastinator. Someday I’ll turn pro”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“Seems like if you’re good at gambling, you’re a professional. If you’re bad, it’s an addiction”
"Seems like if you're good at gambling, you're a professional. If you're bad at it, it's an addiction" was posted on Twitter by Thomas Lennon on February 1, 2010.…
“If your couch isn’t against a wall, you are unimaginably rich”
"If your couch isn’t against a wall you are unimaginably rich" was posted on Twitter by conntent mcnett on October 3, 2019. That is, if a couch is not against a wall, the room is not…
“Gambling is only considered an addiction if you are bad at it”
"Seems like if you're good at gambling, you're a professional. If you're bad at it, it's an addiction" was posted on Twitter by Thomas Lennon on February 1, 2010.…
“The single greatest tool of oppression is ignorance”
"The single greatest tool of oppression is ignorance" (or "Ignorance is the single greatest tool of oppression") is a saying that has been printed on many images. A discussion…
“A real sign that you’ve made it is when your couches aren’t against a wall”
"If your couch isn’t against a wall you are unimaginably rich" was posted on Twitter by conntent mcnett on October 3, 2019. That is, if a couch is not against a wall, the room is not…
“Why is it sometimes difficult to carry multiple pickles?”/“They can be cucumbersome.”
"Cucumbersome" (cucumber + cumbersome) is a jocular, made-up word. "Why did the pickle stop being a contortionist? It was to cucumbersome" was posted on Twitter by Mystic…
“Getting mugged? Just say no. Your robber legally cannot take any of your possessions”
"Getting mugged/robbed? Just say no. Your robber legally cannot take any of your possessions" is a jocular meme that has been printed on many images. "Getting mugged? Just say NO.…