“Why did the tanner cross the road?”/“To get to the other hide.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. Popular variants include "other hide" or "otter's…
“How much do you spend on a bottle of wine?”/“About half an hour.”
"How much do/should you spend on a bottle of wine?"/"About 30 minutes" -- the question probably referred to money, not time -- is a joke that has been printed on many images.…
“Paid all my bills for the month. Does anyone have any good recipes with water?”
"Paid all my bills for the month. Does anyone have any good recipes with water?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker has no money left for food.…
“Why did the taxidermist cross the road?”/“To get to the other hide.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. Popular variants include "other hide" or "otter's…
“I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts”
"I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts" -- a pun on "martial arts" --was posted on Twitter by The Untastic Mr. Fitz on July 15, 2012. "I never finish…
“Lego people live in houses made of their own flesh”
"Lego people live in houses made of their own flesh" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "When the time comes my Cinema Studies essay will be about The Lego Movie and…
“Job offers be like: ‘We need a virgin with 2 years of sexual experience’”
Job offers often require experience -- even for a job they train you for and where experience is not needed. "Job offers be like - We need a Virgin with at least 2 years experience of sex.…
“Legos live in houses made of their own flesh”
"Lego people live in houses made of their own flesh" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "When the time comes my Cinema Studies essay will be about The Lego Movie and…
“If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun”
"Liar, liar, pants on fire" is an old rhyme. "If liars' pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun" is a saying that has been
“I don’t need sex. The government screws me every day”
"I don't need sex. The government fucks/screws me every day" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been put on T-shirts since at least…
“Job offers be like: ‘We need a virgin with 2 years experience in sex’”
Job offers often require experience -- even for a job they train you for and where experience is not needed. "Job offers be like - We need a Virgin with at least 2 years experience of sex.…
“Lego people live in homes made of their own flesh”
"Lego people live in houses made of their own flesh" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "When the time comes my Cinema Studies essay will be about The Lego Movie and…
“I went to a deli and said, ‘I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese’” (joke)
"I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese" is not always the same as "I'd like to buy a bagel and cream cheese." The following joke (which went viral) was posted on…
“I got fired from my last job though I always gave 100%. Apparently that’s not how you grade exams
Should one always give 100% (or 110%) at work? "I always give 110%. That's why I lost my job In the examination bored" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Lewis Gardiner on…
“I don’t need sex. The government fucks me every day”
"I don't need sex. The government fucks/screws me every day" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been put on T-shirts since at least…
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday..”
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Google Groups:…
“I lost my Tic Tacs today. Now, I’m looking for replacemints”
"Lost my Tic-Tacs yesterday... Now Im looking for some replace mints" was posted on Twitter by David Easaw on January 8, 2013. "I lost my Tic Tacs today.... Now, I'm looking for…
“We are the unorganized truth, fighting an organized lie”
"We are the unorganized truth, fighting an organized lie" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Twitter Camille Catherine@yourstrulycamWe are the unorganized truth fighting an…
“Can you strangle a mime with a cordless phone?”
Many people hate mimes. "I just strangled a mime with a cordless phone" was posted on Twitter by Jason Maybe on January 22, 2011. "I just strangled a mime.... With a cordless…
“My career as a street fighter didn’t last very long. I broke my hand punching a curb”
Street Fighter is one of the highest-grossing video game franchises of all time. The title refers to fighting in the street -- not fighting against the street. "My career as a street fighter…