“Always get the big bottle. Better safe than sober”
"Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better safe than sober" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Always buy a bigger bottle. Better safe than…
“If only closed minds came with closed mouths”
"If only closed minds came with closed mouths" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF ONLY CLOSED MINDS CAME WITH CLOSED MOUTHS," credited to Nicole Aitoro of New…
“Always buy the bigger bottle… Better safe than sober”
"Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better safe than sober" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Always buy a bigger bottle. Better safe than…
“Invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return”
"Invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My advice is..." or "My dog's advice is..." often…
“Sweet Jesus implies there is an existence of spicy Jesus, salty Jesus and sour Jesus”
"Sweet Jesus!" is an exclamation. It does not imply other flavors of Jesus, but there are jokes. "You know what I like better than Sweet Jesus? that would be Sweet 'n' Sour…
“What is a chef’s favorite soft drink?”/“Baking soda.”
A chef riddle is: Q: What is a chef's favorite soft drink?A: Baking soda. The riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on April 4, 2022. Wikipedia: Sodium bicarbonateSodium bicarbonate or…
“Oh sweet Jesus. Oh sour Jesus. Oh BBQ Jesus. Oh cool ranch Jesus. Oh Doritos locos tacos Jesus”
"Sweet Jesus!" is an exclamation. It does not imply other flavors of Jesus, but there are jokes. "You know what I like better than Sweet Jesus? that would be Sweet 'n' Sour…
“What do you call 52 pieces of bread?”/“A deck of carbs.”
"Deck of cards" is different than a "deck of carbs," but there are jokes. "A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on…
“What do you call 52 slices of bread?”/“A deck of carbs.”
"Deck of cards" is different than a "deck of carbs," but there are jokes. "A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on…
“A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs”
"Deck of cards" is different than a "deck of carbs," but there are jokes. "A loaf of bread is really just a deck of carbs" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on…
Appley Ever After (Apple-y Ever After)
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
“Adam and Eve lived appley ever after”
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
Applely Ever After
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
“Two apples met, fell in love and got married. They lived appley ever after”
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
“Jonathan and Granny Smith fell in love and lived appley ever after”
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
“The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people”
"The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The thing about smart people is that they seem…
“If you ever want to quit drinking, eat Twizzlers. They’re not alcohol, but they’re liquorish”
"Licorice" sounds like "liquorish." "Hahaaa Twizzlers look like this http://bit.ly/n4Da9P :) They're liquorish :)" was posted on Twitter by…
“The official flag of 2020” (a face mask on a flagpole)
"The official flag of 2020" (a face mask on a flagpole) has been shown on many images. A related joke is a mock Pledge of Allegiance: “I pledge allegiance to the mask of the World…
“I pledge allegiance to the mask of the World Health Organization…”
A Covid-19 parody of the Pledge of Allegiance has been shown on many images: "I pledge allegiance to the mask of the World Health Organization, and to the United Nations, for which it stands,…
“The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules…”
"The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It’s people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages"…