Prison Spread
"Prison spread" is an inexpensive meal that developed in California prisons. Ramen noodles, Cheetos, hot sauce, and other ingredients are put into a garbage bag and mixed together. The…
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“If nominated I will not accept, and if elected I will not serve”
"If nominated I will not accept/run, (and) if elected I will not serve" is the famous "Sherman statement" on declining to run for political office, but William Tecumseh Sherman…
CanDo (Canal Downtown)
The New York Travel Advisory Bureau distributed maps in 2010 with the neighborhood name of "CanDo" for "Canal Downtown." The area is also called "Lower Manhattan" and…
“You can’t beat somebody with nobody”
"You can't beat somebody with nobody" is an old political axiom. No matter how poorly a political "somebody" is, that candidate can't be beaten by "nobody."…
Cover Jinx
Time magazine was first published in New York City on March 3, 1923. In the 1930s, it was noticed that sports figures who appeared on Time's cover appeared to be jinxed afterward. Time started…
“When you raid a whorehouse, take the piano player, too, because no one is entirely innocent”
"When you raid a whorehouse, take the piano player, too, because no one is entirely innocent" is a Wall Street saying, meaning that when stocks start to strongly fall or to strongly rise,…
“In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield”
"In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield" is a popular bit of one-line wisdom from American investor Warren Buffett. The saying means that the…
“The bears have Thanksgiving, but the bulls have Christmas” (or, “The bulls have Thanksgiving…”)
"The bears have Thanksgiving, but the bulls have Christmas," or is it "The bulls have Thanksgiving, but the bears have Christmas"? The former appears to have been cited in print…
“You can change a cucumber into a pickle, but you can’t turn a pickle back into a cucumber”
"You can change a cucumber into a pickle, but you can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber" is a saying used at Alcoholics Anonymous and other organizations. The saying means that…
“IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got”
"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got" is a saying that's appeared on T-shirts and bumper stickers. "A tax collector has what it takes to take what…
“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women”
"People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women" is an old joke showing that everybody complains about taxes. The joke has been cited since at least 1944,…
“A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing okay”
A popular anti-tax saying (showing how taxes penalize success) is: "A fine is a tax you have to pay for doing wrong. A tax is a fine you have to pay for doing okay." The saying has been…
“I’m proud to pay taxes; I could be just as proud for half the money”
Arthur Godfrey (1903-1983) made a fortune in hosting radio and television talent show. The October 1951 Reader's Digest quoted Godfrey: "I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United…
“World Ends: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit” (NY Times headline joke)
A conservative joke shows how a liberal newspaper -- such as the New York (NY) Times or Washington (DC) Post or Austin (TX) American-Statesman -- would headline the ultimate disaster: "World…
“Assume you have a can opener” (economics joke about opening a food can)
A popular economics joke has a physicist, a chemist, and an economist all stranded on a desert island. There is one can of food, but nothing to open it with. The physicist presents his proposed…
“A correction is when you lose money and a bear market is when I lose money”
What's the difference between a short-term "market correction" and a "bear market" or a "crash"? A joke says that the difference is not how far stocks have…
“An actuary is a someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn’t have the personality for it”
"An actuary is a someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn't have the personality for it" is an old joke about the actuarial profession. The reverse is also told: "An…
“The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country…”
"The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country..." is a humorous list describing the readers of various newspapers. The New York (NY) Times "is read by people who…
“Saskatchewan is much like Texas — except it’s more friendly to the United States”
"Saskatchewan is very much like Texas — except it's more friendly to the United States" is often attributed to American politician Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965), who made the remark…
“I’m not a member of any organized political party—I’m a Democrat”
"I'm not a member of any organized political party -- I'm a Democrat" is a famous political quotation attributed to humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935), although Rogers said it a…