“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand”
"Love is grand: divorce is a hundred grand" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, bumper stickers and T-shirts. "Love is grand, but divorce…
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“Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people”
"Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people" is a saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying was first cited on Twitter on November 9, 2012. Similar sayings include…
“It’s no longer called ‘box wine’—the classy term is ‘Cardboardeaux’”
"Cardboardeaux" or "Cardbordeaux" (cardboard + Bordeaux wine) is a jocular name for a box wine. "It's no longer called 'box wine' -- the classy term is…
“Courage is fear that has said its prayers”
"Courage is fear that has said its prayers" is a popular motivational quote on many posters, but it's almost always misattributed. The line comes from the short poem…
“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on”
“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it" is often credited to American author Mark Twain, the pen name of…
“What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?” (lawyer joke)
The Italian mafia boss Don Corleone spoke the following line in Mario Puzo's novel The Godfather (1969, later made into a 1972 film): "He's a businessman. I'll make him an offer…
“Do you serve lawyers here?” (bar/lawyer joke)
There is a combination bar joke and lawyer joke. The "Do you serve lawyers here?" joke has been cited in print since at least 1994 and is of unknown authorship. Google Groups:…
“What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?” (lawyer joke)
"What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline" is a musician joke that has been cited in print since at least 1992. It…
“All lawyers are jerks” (lawyer joke)
"All lawyers are jerks!" is a line in a popular lawyer joke. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998 and is of unknown authorship. Google Groups: alt.callahansA short one for…
Lawyer’s Brain (lawyer joke)
A popular lawyer joke involves the price of a lawyer's brain relative to brains of other professions. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994 and is of unknown authorship. The…
“How do you stop an elephant from charging?” (joke)
"How do you keep/stop an elephant from charging? You take away his credit card!" This joke (along with other elephant jokes) went viral in 1963 and 1964 and is of unknown authorship.…
“A lawsuit is something no one wants to have and no one wants to lose”
"A lawsuit is something no one wants to have and no one wants to lose" is a popular legal contradiction that appeared in the American Bar Association Journal in 1920. "What is it…
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks”
"Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks" is a joke that became popular on the Internet in the 1990s. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. The joke is…
Lawyer’s Billable Hours (lawyer joke)
A popular lawyer joke about billable hours dates in print to at least the early 1980s. A lawyer died at a young age and complained to St. Peter in heaven that he was taken from the earth too soon.…
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor”
"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor" is a popular quotation that has been printed on many posters. American author Truman Capote (1924-1984) said in…
“What do you think about the execution of the team?” (sports joke)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers head football coach John McKay (1923-2001) was asked by a reporter after a loss what he thought about the execution of the team's offense. "I'm in favor of it…
Big Apple Red (color)
"Big Apple Red" has been a popular color of nail polish. "Nail polish sorted out by color: Peach Ice, Flamingo Pink, Big Apple Red" was cited in print in 1970, but the nail…
“Rich have money, wealthy have time”
"The rich have money and the wealthy have time" is a financial saying. A person might have to work all the time to acquire money and to become rich, but a truly wealthy person has time to…
“You can’t eat like a bird and poop like an elephant” (trading adage)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe Day Trader's Manual: Theory, Art, and Science of Profitable Short-Term InvestingBy William F. EngNew York, NY: Wiley1993Pg. 42:Short option positions…
“Gold is for royalty, silver is for gentlemen and copper is for the working man”
Entry in progress -- B.P. “Gold is the money of kings; silver is the money of gentlemen; barter is the money of peasants; but debt is the money of slaves" Kitco -- Silver Discussions…