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"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it" was cited in print in 1965 and credited to a banquet remark of American professional golfer Jimmy Demaret…
What's harder -- to make an audience laugh or to make them cry? The classic answer is that comedy is harder because even an onion can make someone cry, but there is no vegetable that can make…
"Some debts are fun when you're acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them" was written by American poet Ogden Nash (1902-1971) in The New Yorker on January…
"Facebook is like a jail. You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don't really know" appeared on NUK3.com on December 17, 2009.…
"If people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you are above them" is saying that has been printed on many posters. "There will always be someone trying to bring you…
"Road Pirates -- Paid by/with your money to steal your money" is a popular poster. The saying refers to "theft by cop" (civil asset forfeiture), where police stop cars and take…
"Who was the wisest financial investor in the Bible?" begins an old joke. The answer is Noah because he was able to float a company while the rest of the world was in liquidation. The…
"Love is grand: divorce is a hundred grand" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, bumper stickers and T-shirts. "Love is grand, but divorce…
"Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people" is a saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying was first cited on Twitter on November 9, 2012. Similar sayings include…
"Cardboardeaux" or "Cardbordeaux" (cardboard + Bordeaux wine) is a jocular name for a box wine. "It's no longer called 'box wine' -- the classy term is…
"Courage is fear that has said its prayers" is a popular motivational quote on many posters, but it's almost always misattributed. The line comes from the short poem…
“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it" is often credited to American author Mark Twain, the pen name of…
The Italian mafia boss Don Corleone spoke the following line in Mario Puzo's novel The Godfather (1969, later made into a 1972 film): "He's a businessman. I'll make him an offer…
There is a combination bar joke and lawyer joke. The "Do you serve lawyers here?" joke has been cited in print since at least 1994 and is of unknown authorship. Google Groups:…
"What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline" is a musician joke that has been cited in print since at least 1992. It…
"All lawyers are jerks!" is a line in a popular lawyer joke. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998 and is of unknown authorship. Google Groups: alt.callahansA short one for…
A popular lawyer joke involves the price of a lawyer's brain relative to brains of other professions. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994 and is of unknown authorship. The…
"How do you keep/stop an elephant from charging? You take away his credit card!" This joke (along with other elephant jokes) went viral in 1963 and 1964 and is of unknown authorship.…
"A lawsuit is something no one wants to have and no one wants to lose" is a popular legal contradiction that appeared in the American Bar Association Journal in 1920. "What is it…
"Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks" is a joke that became popular on the Internet in the 1990s. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. The joke is…