“Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high”
Parking tickets are usually --but not always -- placed under windshield wipers. "Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high" is a jocular parking saying that has been printed on…
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Rocky Road (ice cream)
"Rocky Road" is a candy or an ice cream flavor of chocolate, marshmallows and nuts. Rocky Road was popularized in California, Oregon and Washington in the 1920s. "Rocky Road A…
“Your ignorance is their power”
"Your ignorance is their power" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1978, but became popular on many images (such…
“‘Too much milk left need more cereal’ always leads to ‘too much cereal need more milk’”
Some people must always have a cereal and milk balance. "'Too much milk left need more cereal' always leads to 'too much cereal need more milk'" is a jocular saying…
“Replace excuses with effort, replace laziness with determination, and everything falls into place”
"Replace excuses with effort, replace laziness with determination, and everything will fall into place" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Accept people as they are. Believe in what they can become”
"Accept people as they are. Believe in what they can become" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Billy Cox on March 25…
“What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?”/“You cry when you cut up an onion.”
A popular lawyer joke is: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?A: You cry when you cut up an onion. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1991. "What’s the…
“Your cell phone has already replaced your camera, your watch, your calendar…”
"Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar, and alarm clock. Don't let it replace your family" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Your…
“I opened two gifts this morning. They were my eyes”
"I opened two gifts this morning. They were my eyes" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on December 25, 2014. TwitterJ…
“Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office—I will track you down. You have my Word”
"Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office -- I will track you down. You have my Word" is a Microsoft Office-Word pun that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted on…
“What’s the best part about dating a Mets fan?”/“You know she’s not looking for a ring.”
Championship athletes often get rings. A joke about the fans of non-winning teams (the Mets, in this example) is: Q: What's the best part of dating a Mets fan?A: You know she's not…
“I hate people who refuse to let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst”
"I hate people who refuse to let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst" is a jocular one-line saying about debt collection. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 26, 2014.…
“If you think you’ve got nothing to be thankful for…check your pulse”
"If you think you've got nothing to be thankful for...check your pulse" is a one-line inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been popular on church…
“They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken”
Golfers sometimes curse when the ball doesn't roll their way. A "Golf Joke of the Week," was printed in the Star-Gazette (Elmira, NY) on June 16, 1989: "Why does golf have the…
“I found a builder who advertises ‘No job too small’ so I’ve got him tiling the doll’s house”
"No job too small" is what some companies advertise. A joke is: "Found a builder who advertises 'No job too small' so I've got him tiling the bathroom in my…
“The body heals with play. The mind heals with laughter. The spirit heals with joy”
"The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter and the spirit heals with joy" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Humorist and author Mike Moore…
The Championship Track (Belmont Park nickname)
The Belmont Stakes is the last race of thoroughbred racing's Triple Crown. Belmont Park advertised in June 1987 that it was "The Championship Track." "The Championship…
“Teacher: What sound do pigs make? Student: FREEZE!”
"Pig" is slang for a policeman, and this is used in a popular joke. A teacher asks her class (Detroit is often the location), "What sound does a cat make?" "Meow!"…
“Trust is like an eraser— it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake”
"Trust is like an eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake" is a one-line saying about trust that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on March…
“No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up!”
"No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up!" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Sunday Morning, Get up, Dress up, Show up and…