“My study breaks are longer than my actual study time”
"My study breaks are longer than my actual study time" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by True Teen Quotes on September 8, 2010.…
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“In the restaurant: ‘Would you like a table?’ ‘No, a lamp for 5 please.’”
A jocular response to an obvious restaurant question is: WAITER: Would you like a table?A: No, a lamp for 5 please. The joke was posted on Twitter by FUNNY TWEETS on October 7, 2012, and has been…
“In what key does the ghost play piano?”/“In the spoo-key.”
A ghost riddle about music was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on July 4, 2017: Q: In what key does the ghost play piano?A: In the spoo-key. Reddit -- 3amjokesIn what key does the ghost play piano?…
“Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world? Sincerely, iPod”
"Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world, right?" is a jocular line about radio (from a frustrated listener) that has been printed on many images.…
“My baker never uses chocolate chips in his cookies. It’s okay, I’m sure he has his raisins”
Raisins are sometimes used for chocolate chips -- or the word "reasons." A joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on July 3, 2017: "My friend the baker never uses chocolate chips in…
“What do transgenders put on their salad?”/“Crossdressing.”
Diners put dressing on their salad, but what about crossdressing? "Cross-dressing is what transvestite nuns put on their salad" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2013. "What do…
“The 8th deadly sin is leaving a friend a voicemail”
Many people hate voicemail messages. "Leaving voicemail messages should be the 8th deadly sin" was posted on Twitter on January 3, 2012. "The 8th deadly sin is leaving a friend a…
“Your finest Scotch, please” (Scotch tape joke)
There's a difference between Scotch whisky and Scotch tape, but there have been several jokes. "A glass of your finest Scotch tape" was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2015.…
“Google + Wikipedia = Homework”
"Google + Wikipedia = Homework" is a popular saying about the leading internet search engine and the leading internet encyclopedia that has been printed on many images. "Google ->…
“Is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?”
People never seem to look up from their phones. "Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?" is a jocular line…
“I hate everybody, regardless of race, creed, or place of national origin!”
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally" (or "I don't discriminate. I hate everyone equally") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”
The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…
“A house isn’t a home unless there’s wifi”
"A house isn't a home unless there's wifi" is a saying that has been printed in several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on July 6, 2012. Wikipedia: Wi-FiWi-Fi or WiFi…
“I think that a butt-dial is a polite form of booty-call”
"Butt dial" and "booty call" are not the same thing, but the terms have been combined on several images. "If you butt dial someone is that considered a booty call?"…
“They say money has germs, but even a germ couldn’t live on the money I make”
Money changes hands and attracts lots of bacteria. A joke is: "They say money has germs, but even a germ couldn't live on the money I make." The joke has been cited in print since at…
“They sleep, we grind. They dream, we shine”
"They sleep, we grind. They dream, we shine" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "MEANS YOU WORKING HARDER SONNY. WHILE THEY SLEEP, WE GRIND. HARD"…
“Guess what?”/“Chicken butt.”
"Guess what? Chicken butt!" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It's mostly a children's nonsense rhyme. One says, "Guess what?" The other responds,…
“Any bug can hit the windshield, but it takes guts to stick”
"Any bug can hit the windshield, but it takes guts to stick" is a jocular one-line saying about driving and hitting bugs. "Any bug can hit the windshield........but it takes guts to…
Turketarian or Turkeytarian (turkey eater)
A "turketarian" or "turkeytarian" is someone who eats turkey. "Turkeytarian" was posted on Twitter on November 26, 2009. "I'm sort of.. a turketarian..? XD I…
“I saw an Amish billboard that said, ‘don’t drink or drive’”
"Don't drink and drive" is a popular saying. "Don't drink or drive" -- with an Amish picture -- is a saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. BustedTees came out…