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A joke about hangovers is: Q: What's the best thing for a hangover?A: Drink loads the night before. The question really meant how to "cure" a hangover, but the answer provided how to…
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1980. 25 October 1980,…
"Would you send your son to a school run by someone who insisted on being called 'Headmaster?'" is a popular pun. The jocular question was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
The day breaks, but never falls. The night falls, but never breaks. This observation has been cited in print at least as early as Harper's Bazar (New York, NY) in 1889: "It is a fact…
Does the "you are what you eat" proverb apply to pets? "If you are what you eat. Then my dog is a racoon" was posted on Twitter on July 29, 2011. "If you are what you…
"True friendship is when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically" is a one-line saying a bout WiFi that has been printed on many images. "You know they're…
"Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?" is a popular question that has been printed on an image. The question was posted on the newsgroup alt.fan.cecil-adams…
"I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them" is a one-line saying about broken cookies that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 19,…
"Damn girl, are you my report card?" is a line with several punchlines. "Aye girl are you my report card? Because baby you got double Ds" was posted on Twitter on April 15,…
"They say you are what you eat. I don't remember eating a big disappointment" is a self-deprecating joke. "'You are what you eat' I don't remember eating a big…
A programming riddle is: Q: Why do Java programmers wear glasses?A: Because they can't C# (see sharp). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001 and has been printed on many images.…
"Dear everyone, upset, bored, angry or hungry -- I'm here for you. Sincerely, fridge" is a jocular one-line saying from a refrigerator. The saying was posted on Twitter on June 8,…
"I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted…
What does a dog's barking mean? "A wise Chinese man once said, "If a dog barks, it's undercooked'" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The saying…
"Homework: If it goes too easy, you're doing it wrong" is a one-line homework saying that has been printed on several images. "Quick tip: if you think your calc homework is too…
"Money can't buy happiness" is a proverb that has been cited in English since at least 1821. There have been many jocular additions to the proverb. "Money can't buy…
Autocorrect often makes mistakes. "Burn in hello auto correct!" was posted on Twitter on September 19, 2010. "I hope the inventor of auto-correct barns in hello" was posted on…
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe" -- that is, confused or disoriented -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited…
The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…