“It’s Monday, teachers. Put on your capes”
Monday is the usual start of the work week -- especially for teachers -- and often requires superhuman strength. "It's Monday, teachers. Put on your capes" is a school saying that…
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“What school do you have to drop out to graduate from?”/“Parachute school.”
A school riddle is: Q: What school do you have to drop out to graduate from?A: Parachute school. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1972. Google BooksAugust 1972, Boys' Life,…
“If the term ‘military grade’ impresses you, you’ve probably never been in the military”
Some people believe that "military grade" means that a product is very good. If it's good enough for the military -- where life is at stake -- it must be a quality product. However,…
“Why the heck do they call it a swimming pool? I mean, it doesn’t even swim!”
A joke on the term "swimming pool" was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 5, 2017: "Why the heck do they call it a swimming pool? I mean, it doesn't even swim!"…
“Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit”
"Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Knowing about spelling is the difference…
“It’s Monday. Put on your capes”
Monday is the usual start of the work week -- especially for teachers -- and often requires superhuman strength. "It's Monday, teachers. Put on your capes" is a school saying that…
“The more comfort food I eat, the less comfortable I am”
"Comfort food" might seem comforting at first, but too much comfort food can be fattening. "The more 'comfort food' I ate, the less comfortable I felt!" was posted on…
“Take me to your liter” (“Take me to your litre”)
"Take me to your leader!" is something a space alien might say. "Take me to your liter/litre!" is something a thirsty person might say. "Sidney Kaye tells of the Martian…
“Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again”
"Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It was printed in an Illinois newspaper…
“What did one frog say to the other?”/“Time’s sure fun when you’re having flies.”
"Time flies when you're having fun" is a popular saying. A joke transposing words is: Q: What did one frog say to the other?A: Time's sure fun when you're having flies. The…
“Where do birds meet for coffee?”/“In a nest-cafe.”
A pun on Nescafé coffee is: Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?A: In the nest-cafe. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997 and has been printed on several images. Wikipedia:…
“What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?”/“Depreciation.”
An accountant riddle is: Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?A: Depreciation. The joke was posted on the newsgroup uw.acct.acc131 on November 24, 1997. Google Groups:…
“What dog can tell the time?”/“A watch dog.”
A dog riddle is: Q: What dog can tell time?A: A watch dog. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1962. 30 June 1962, The Evening Republican (Columbus, IN), "Tom Trick" by…
“I have an inferiority complex, but it’s just not a very good one”
"I have an inferiority complex, but it's (just) not a very good one" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have an inferiority complex, but it is not a…
Rome on the Potomac (Washington, DC nickname)
Washington, District of Columbia, is located on the Potomac River. Washington is infrequently nicknamed "Rome on the Potomac," after Rome, Italy, and its ancient empire. In the late…
“Son, you’re just not cut out to be a mime.”/“Is it something I said?”/“Yes.”
A mime joke is: FATHER: Son, you're just not cut out to be a mime.SON: Is it something I said?FATHER: Yes. The joke was posted on Twitter by Tommytoughstuff on September 27, 2014.…
“I wonder if it’s rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands”
"I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands" is a saying that has been printed on many images. New York-born stand-up comedian Demetri Martin has told…
“I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet”
"I'm a social vegan. I avoid meet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m a social vegan; I avoid meet" -- a pun on "meat" -- was posted on…
“‘Tater tots’ is short for ‘potato toddlers’”
"Tater tots" weren't originally called "potato toddlers," but that's a popular saying. "Tater tots= fried potato toddlers?" was posted on Twitter on November…
“You are not stuck in traffic. You are traffic”
"You are not stuck in traffic. You are traffic" is a pro-bike saying that has been printed on many images. "Your not Stuck in traffic; You are traffic" was posted on the…