“I’d go to a strip club, but it’s always the same old thong and dance”
"Song and dance" is a New York slang phrase that dates to the 19th century. Strips clubs give the same old "thong and dance." "Thong bikinis and nude dance clubs (same old…
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“Don’t depend too much on anyone. Even your shadow leaves you when you’re in darkness”
"Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Wikipedia: Ibn…
“What is Perseus’s least favorite cheese?”/“Gorgonzola.”
Gorgonzola cheese doesn't contain the Gorgons of ancient Greek mythology, but there are jokes. "Perseus and the Gorgonzola #cheesemyths" was posted on Twitter on December 28, 2009.…
“What was the unknown baker’s name?”/“John Dough.”
"John Dough" is a baker pun on "John Doe" (an name for an unidentified man). "The secretive baker died last week. His name was John Dough" was posted on Twitter on May…
“Everything becomes a lesson when you’re open to learn”
"Everything becomes a lesson when you're open to learn" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by The Golden Mirror on…
“Powdered drink mix is just seasoning for water”
Are powdered drink mixes (such as Crystal Light and Kool-Aid) just seasonings for water? "Do you ever think about how crystal light is just a seasoning for water? #deepthoughts…
“What’s a cat’s favorite soda?”/“Meowtain Dew.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What’s a cat's favorite soda?A: Meowtain Dew. The "Meowtain Dew" (meow + Mountain Dew) joke was posted on Twitter on September 27, 2009. Wikipedia: Mountain…
“Until you cross the bridge of your insecurities, you can’t begin to explore your possibilities”
"Until you cross the bridge of your insecurities, you can't begin to explore your possibilities" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American author and…
“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it, but by working for it” (Estée Lauder)
"I never dreamed about success. I worked for it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American businessperson Estée Lauder (1908-2004) -- born Josephine Esther…
“What’s best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies”
"What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an images. "What's best way to build upper arm strength?…
“What do you call a waffle on a California beach?”/“A Sandy Eggo.”
A riddle involving Eggo brand frozen waffles is: Q: What do you call a waffle on a California beach?A: A Sandy Eggo. The "Sandy Eggo"/"San Diego" pun has been cited in print…
“IPAs are just pumpkin spice lattes for white men”
IPAs have been compared to pumpkin spice lattes as a trendy drink. "IPAs are just Pumpkin Spice Lattes for Hipsters" was posted on Twitter by Bleeding Heart Brewery on June 11, 2018.…
“I wish everything was as easy as getting fat”
"I wish everything was as easy as getting fat" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I wish everything was as easy as getting fat" was posted on Twitter on…
“The distance between your dream and reality is called action”
"The distance between your dreams and reality is called action" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "The distance between your dreams and reality is called…
“I never dreamed about success. I worked for it” (Estée Lauder)
"I never dreamed about success. I worked for it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American businessperson Estée Lauder (1908-2004) -- born Josephine Esther…
“When vegetables get a vasectomy they get the parsnip”
"Parsnip" sounds to some people, perhaps, like "parts snip." "A parsnip is also the best vegetable for performing dad's vasectomy" was posted on Twitter on April…
“Cinema means sin and enema”
"Cinema," for those who dislike the movies, is a word that combines "sin" and "enema." The book I Lost My Heart in Hollywood: Diary of a Dick (2011) by Will Veharo…
“A contortionist in the Philippines would be a Manila folder”
Many offices use manila folders. A riddle about them is: Q: What do you call a contortionist from the Philippines?A: A Manila folder. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1974.…
“Democrats vote on Tuesday, Republicans vote on Wednesday” (joke)
U.S. presidential elections are held the first Tuesday in November. A joke has voters being told that "Republicans vote on Tuesday, Democrats vote on Wednesday," or "Democrats vote…
“The dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately”
"The dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "The dream is free… But the Hustle is sold separately..!!** ~…