“Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?”
"Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Her full name was something like Candy Cane, which seemed so perfect.…
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“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other”
"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Ann Landers," the pen name of a syndicated…
“All I could get on screen were pics of plates of stew. Turned out to be a wireless hotpot”
A "wireless hotspot" shouldn't be confused with a "wireless hotpot," but there are jokes. "RT @amateuradam: Cooking dinner tonight only using the Internet - making a…
“I’ve been hitting ‘remind me tomorrow’ on a computer update for the last 68 years”
Many people are reminded about software updates, but keep putting it off. Some people don't have the time, while others don't want the updates. "I've been hitting 'reboot…
“Hocus pocus, I need coffee to focus”
"Hocus pocus, I need coffee to focus" is a coffee saying (popular around Halloween) that has been printed on many images. "Hocus Pocus I need coffee to focus" was posted on…
“Instagram is just scrapbooking for millennials”
Instagram is frequently compared to scrapbooking. "RT @HaileyEmory2012RT @FatChickStalker: INSTAGRAM IS LIKE ONLINE SCRAPBOOKING FOR GAY BUTT HIPSTERS" was posted on Twitter by Scrapbook…
“All I could get on screen were pics of plates of stew. Turned out to be a wireless hotpot”
A "wireless hotspot" shouldn't be confused with a "wireless hotpot," but there are jokes. "RT @amateuradam: Cooking dinner tonight only using the Internet - making a…
“What’s 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?”/“A lawyer’s tie.”
A political joke has been cited in print since at least 1990: Q: What's twelve inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? A: Dukakis's necktie. Michael Dukakis was the Democratic…
“How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?” (riddle)
An egg riddle is: Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack! The riddle was been cited in print since at least 2004. Google…
“Your car’s been keyed. The good news is that the damage looks to B minor”
A popular image in 2018 shows a blue Volkswagen car "keyed" with musical notation and the caption: "Your car's been keyed. The good news is that the damage looks to B…
“Why is it called a dad bod and not a father figure?”
"What is it called a dad bod and not a father figure?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "They stay hating on my dad bod, little do they know these girls need…
“I can tell if people are judgmental just by looking at them”
"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.…
“You know you’re drunk when you put food in the microwave and then enter your PIN”
Many people mistakenly put a PIN in the microwave keypad. "YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave" was posted on Twitter by Twila Marie on…
“If you could just rehydrate those raisins, that would be grapes”
A boss saying "If you could be here around nine, that would be great" is a line from the American film comedy Office Space (1999) that became a much-parodied meme. "Yeah, if you…
“What’s the heaviest soup in the world?”/“Wonton soup.”
A "wonton" dumpling sounds like "one ton," and there's a riddle: Q: What's the heaviest soup in the world?A: Wonton soup. "In 1411, the heaviest soup ever made…
“My unicorn ate my homework”
"My unicorn ate my homework" -- a joke on the lame excuse of "the dog ate my homework" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The Rainbow Unicorn ate my…
“I hate it when I lose stuff at school, like my pencils and papers and life ambitions”
"I hate when I lose stuff at school like my pens, worksheets, & life ambitions" is a jocular anti-school saying that was posted on Twitter by Kendra allison on November 16, 2012.…
“What type of wine goes well with back to school?”
"What type of wine goes well with back to school?" is a jocular parent saying that has been printed on many images. "What type of wine goes well with back to school? #wine #wino…
“What does a painter do when he gets cold?”/“He puts on another coat.”
A painter riddle is: Q: What does a painter do when he gets cold?A: He puts on another coat. The pun is on a "coat" (of paint) versus a "coat" (of clothing). The painter joke…
“If I died and went to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work”
"If I died and went to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore" is an anti-work saying that has been printed on may images. "If I died and went…