“Southerners don’t measure seasonings. We just sprinkle and shake”
Many people don't measure the ingredients when they cook. "I don't measure a thing when I cook. I just sprinkle and add stuff until I hear the spirit of my ancestors whisper…
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“I actually like driving alone because I can listen to the same song 27 times in a row”
"I actually like driving alone because I can listen to the same song 27 times in a row without anyone stopping me" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I like…
“You are built not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more”
"You are built not to be shrink down to less, but to blossom into more" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American media executive, actress, talk show host,…
“Would you like to hear today’s special?” (restaurant joke)
A waiter or waitress often tells diners about the day's special menu. "Today's special" does not mean that the day itself is special, but there are jokes. This was posted on…
“I haven’t been able to look at cereal since the time I walked in on my parents having Chex”
Chex cereal has had some sex jokes. This was posted on Twitter by braden graeber on March 15, 2012: "I haven't been able to look at cereal since the time I walked in on my parents having…
Bush League
The baseball terms "major league" and "big league" refer to the top professional league; these terms have been used outside of baseball as well, with a similar meaning.…
“Adam and Eve weren’t Chinese. They would have sold the apple and eaten the snake”
A saying has it that Chinese people eat many things. This has been expressed in a riddle: Q: How do we know that Adam and Eve were not Chinese?A: Because they would have thrown away the apple and…
“I prefer to have my milk churned. It’s butter that way”
"Butter" is often used as a pun for "better." This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 9, 2019: "I prefer to have my milk churned. It’s butter that way."…
“The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more”
The first rule of the theatre (show business) is 'always leave them wanting more" is a saying of unknown authorship. The premise is to leave the audience on a positive note, wanting more…
“The first rule of show business is to always leave them wanting more”
The first rule of the theatre (show business) is 'always leave them wanting more" is a saying of unknown authorship. The premise is to leave the audience on a positive note, wanting more…
“Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?”/“‘Rude’olph.”
A Christmas riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) has bad manners?A: "Rude"olph. or Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) needs to mind his manners…
“My dad always said, ‘The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more’” (joke)
The first rule of the theatre (show business) is 'always leave them wanting more" is a saying of unknown authorship. The premise is to leave the audience on a positive note, wanting more…
“All I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning house”
"All I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning house" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. "Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning house and…
“Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?”/“‘Rude’olph.”
A Christmas riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) has bad manners?A: "Rude"olph. or Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) needs to mind his manners…
“Tough love”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Tough love The phrase tough love is believed to have originated with Bill Milliken's book of the same title in 1968. It is an expression used when someone…
“How did Santa kill a dragon?”/“He sleighed it.”
"Sleighed" sounds like "slayed." A Christmas riddle was posted on Twitter by galarian emolga on May 6, 2016: Q: How did Santa kill a dragon?A: He sleighed it. "Santa hit a…
“Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you…” (joke)
Many devices (microwave, TV, laptop, smartphone) in the household can spy on people. "If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for…
“If you think your microwave and your TV spying on you is bad…” (joke)
Many devices (microwave, TV, laptop, smartphone) in the household can spy on people. "If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for…
“What do you call a zombie who stir fries?”/“Dead Man Wokking.”
There have been several puns on the title of the fil Dead Man Walking (1995). "I've got the best idea for a movie. It's about a zombie who becomes a chinese food chef. I call it…
“If you think your microwave spying on you is bad, your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt”
Many devices (microwave, TV, laptop, smartphone) in the household can spy on people. "If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for…