“What is muffins spelled backwards?”/“Exactly what you do when you take them out the oven.”
"Do you realize that 'Muffins' spelled backwards is 'Sniffum'?" was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.subspace on October 30, 1998. "Sniffum" sounds like…
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“I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic” (joke)
Books about the Titanic should not be confused with books on the Titanic, but there are jokes. This was posted on the Sickipedia website on April 15, 2012 (the 100th anniversary of the ship's…
“Wear your mask at home. This is not to avoid the virus. It’s to avoid the constant eating”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to wear surgical masks when they left the home. "Please wear a mask at home too. Especially when you are all alone. It will stop you from…
“It started with a bat, went quickly to toilet paper… We’ve all gone bat, shit, crazy”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, according to one theory, began when someone in China ate a bat. In the United States, there was panic buying of toilet paper. "It started with a bat, went…
“I got so pissed last night, I don’t remember getting home from the kitchen” (quarantine)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home in quarantine. "It's driving me crazy not going out. I was that pissed last night I don't remember getting home…
“In 20 years, this country will be run by people home schooled by day drinkers”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in the closing of many schools. Children were home schooled by their parents. Many parents took alcoholic drinks during the day. "You think it’s…
Quarantine Coffee
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to quarantine. Many bars closed, and some products were difficult to buy. This was posted on Reddit -- Funny on April 1, 2020: "It’s…
NY Pause (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic)
In response to the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, New York State Governor Andrew M. Cuomo instituted "NY Pause" on March 20, 2020, that closed non-essential businesses. On April 6, 2020,…
“99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people”
"99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 19, 2014. The speaker is not intelligent --…
“I’ve spent 2 weeks hanging out with myself and i am so sorry to every person i spent time with”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people staying at home. This was posted on Twitter by trish on April 1, 2020: "i’ve spent 2 weeks hanging out with myself and i am so…
Coronapocalypse (coronavirus + apocalypse)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was viewed as an apocalypse by many, resulting in the portmanteau term "coronapocalypse" (coronavirus + apocalypse). "Yep, coronapocalypse or not,…
“I bought a knife that can cut through four loaves of bread at once. It’s a four loaf cleaver”
"Four loaf cleaver" is a spoonerism for "four leaf clover." The jocular "four loaf cleaver" has been cited in print since at least 1948 and 1957. Newspapers.com25 June…
“Why did the cannibal die of COVID-19?”/“Too many handshakes.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many people avoid handshakes. A cannibal possibly makes handshakes (a shake containing hands). A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 4, 2020: Q:…
“Quarantine Day 20: Today, I melted an ice cube with my mind by just staring at it”
"I've melted an ice cube just by staring at it!!! Took a little longer than I thought it would" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Jodge Ledesma (and others) on March 13, 2012.…
“Turns out my three hobbies are eating at restaurants, shopping at nonessential businesses…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic prevented many people from enjoying their favorite hobbies. "New twitter bio: my hobbies include touching my face, touching face and also touching my…
“It’s like I’m 16 again. $5 is gas money & we all grounded” (quarantine joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused home quarantine. The price of gas dropped significantly. This was posted on Facebook by Areol Clayton on March 30, 2020: "It’s like I’m 16 again.…
“The buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to stay at home -- and get fat. "The buttons on my jeans are the only ones following social distancing" was posted on Twitter by…
“Who called them dad jokes instead of popcorn?”
"Dad" is sometimes called "pop." Bad jokes are sometimes called "corn." "What idiot called them dad jokes instead of pop corn?" was posted on Twitter by THE…
“Social distancing is boring. ‘Exiled for the good of the realm’ sounds much more interesting”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused social distancing. "'Exiled for the good of the realm' sounds a lot cooler than 'self-isolation' or 'social distancing'…
“Children born 9 months from now should be referred to as ‘children of the quarn’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to quarantines, and many people speculated that there would be a baby boom nine months later. "Children of the Quarn" -- a pun on the American…