“You can’t get the Sunday scaries if you’re scared all week long”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter mariana @pastapilled You can't get the Sunday scaries if you're scared all week long 4:53 PM · Apr 6, 2025 ·
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“Remember: any job can be remote if you disassociate hard enough”
"Any job can be remote if you dissociate hard enough" (or "Any job can be remote if you disassociate hard enough") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A…
“A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture”
A saying about pets was posted on X/Twitter by erika on September 7, 2025, and this received over 155,000 likes: "a pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their…
“Remember: any job can be remote if you dissociate hard enough”
"Any job can be remote if you dissociate hard enough" (or "Any job can be remote if you disassociate hard enough") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A…
“Why would I spend $5 on a bag of apples at the store when I can pay $86 for our family to pick them ourselves?”
Why spend a small amount to purchase a bag of apples at the store when you can spend a larger amount to pick them yourself? "Why would I spend $5 on a bag of apples at the store when I can…
“‘AI is going to replace you.’ I’d love to see AI drink 6 beers before 11 AM in Spain”
"'AI is going to replace you.' I'd love to see Al drink 6 beers before 11 AM in Spain" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Drinking beers in the…
“So funny when recipe writers are like ‘this is a perfect one for those days when you have NOTHING in your fridge…’”
Some recipes are for when someone has "nothing in the fridge," but list ingredients that certainly won't be there. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by charlie on Januay3, 2022, and…
“The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet”
Cooking shows can be unrealistic. This was posted on X/Twitter by Simon Holland on January 1, 2017: "The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to…
“Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite burner on the stove now”
There are usually four burners on a stove, but most people have a favorite and use that one more than the others. "Does anyone else have a favourite burner on their stove....." was posted…
“Never order ravioli at a restaurant. They never give you enough”
When people order ravioli at a restaurant, it's usually too expensive (about $19) and the amount of ravioli is usually too few (about 3-6 pieces). "Should learn that ordering ravioli at a…
“Ordering ravioli at a restaurant is great for when you want to spend $19 to eat three…”
When people order ravioli at a restaurant, it's usually too expensive (about $19) and the amount of ravioli is usually too few (about 3-6 pieces). "Should learn that ordering ravioli at a…
“Mashed potatoes, or as I like to call it, Irish hummus”
The Irish are known for their potatoes, and mashed potatoes have sometimes been called "Irish hummus." "Mashed potatoes are just Irish hummus" was posted on X/Twitter by Whiskey…
“Mashed potatoes are just Irish hummus”
The Irish are known for their potatoes, and mashed potatoes have sometimes been called "Irish hummus." "Mashed potatoes are just Irish hummus" was posted on X/Twitter by Whiskey…
“If your boss says your team at work is ‘like family’ that means you can scream ‘YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!’ and storm out…”
Work sometimes claims that it is "like family." This was posted on X/Twitte (the account is now private) by Laura Klein on March 1, 2022: "If your boss tells you your team at work is…
“I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch”
"I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people would rather relax at home than go to work. The saying was…
“I don’t want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch”
"I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people would rather relax at home than go to work. The saying was…
“When a hot person at work emails me I’m like this email could have been a meeting”
Many employees who are dragged into a meeting by a boss later lament that "this meeting could have been an email." Sometimes, however, people desire a meeting over an email, especially so…
“Everyone loves Clubhouse, the app that says ‘this email could’ve been a meeting’”
Many employees who are dragged into a meeting by a boss later lament that "this meeting could have been an email." Sometimes, however, people desire a meeting over an email, especially so…
“I like when animals are named after the thing they do like flies and horse”
Flies are called that because they fly, but what about other creatures? This joke was posted on X/Twitter (it is now set to private) by Jaclyn on May 30, 2025, and it received over 148,000 likes:…
“Spoons are a species of bowl. Knives are a species of plate. Forks are descended from a now-extinct dish…”
A jocular post explains the origins of cutlery. "Spoons are a species of bowl. Knives are a species of plate. Forks are descended from a now-extinct dish that would be completely…