“Pairing wine is easy. Me + a glass of wine = a pair”
"Pairing wine is easy. Me + a glass of wine = a pair" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Pairing wine is easy! Me + a glass of wine = a pair 🍷" was posted…
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“How do you turn a bee into an atheist?”/“You smack the beejesus out of them.”
There are no bees in "bejsus," but there is a riddle: Q: How do you turn a bee into an atheist?A: You smack the beejesus out of them. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on April 8,…
“I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart…” (joke)
"I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart while they've never even seen one of his paintings" is a joke that has been printed on many images. Wolfgang Amadeus…
“No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday”
Sunday (especially Sunday night) is when many people panic about Monday, when many return to work or school. "Every Sunday I panic about Monday" was posted on Twitter by Larry Miller on…
“I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted it was for my lawn mower…”
$22 used to fill up a car's gas tank, but not with high gas prices. "I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted it was for my lawn mower but I am trying to stay positive" was…
“The last time I had faith in the news was when it was with Huey Lewis”
"The last time I had faith in the news was when it was with Huey Lewis" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Huey Lewis and the News is an American rock band that…
“April showers bring mud”
"April showers bring May flowers" is a proverb from at least the 1500s. "April showers bring (May) mud (puddles)" is a variation that has been printed on several images.…
“Let’s keep the dumbfuckery to a minimum today”
"Let's keep the dumbfuckery to a minimum today" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. Coffee mugs printed with this saying are in many offices. "Lets…
“You may test that assumption at your convenience”
"Test that assumption at your earliest convenience" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is considered a polite way of saying "fuck around and find…
“Test that assumption at your earliest convenience”
"Test that assumption at your earliest convenience" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is considered a polite way of saying "fuck around and find…
“You may test that assumption at your earliest convenience”
"Test that assumption at your earliest convenience" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is considered a polite way of saying "fuck around and find…
“Why do the police use drug-sniffing dogs rather than sober ones?”
The term "drug-sniffing dog" means that the dog sniffs to detect drugs, not that the dog is addicted to drugs. "Why do the police use those drug-sniffing dogs instead of the sober…
“Herbal tea tastes so much better when it’s coffee”
"Herbal tea tastes so much better when it's coffee" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Justine Chase Grey on July 9, 2009.…
“I went fishing using liquorice as bait. I caught all sorts”
"Went fishing today, used liquorice as bait. Caught allsorts" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on March 5, 2011. The joke was originally posted on the Sickipedia website. The…
“I went fishing on the weekend and used liquorice for bait. I caught allsorts”
"Went fishing today, used liquorice as bait. Caught allsorts" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on March 5, 2011. The joke was originally posted on the Sickipedia website. The…
“I don’t understand why banks get upset when you can’t repay a loan…” (joke)
"I don't understand why banks get upset when you can't repay a loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“April showers bring mud puddles”
"April showers bring May flowers" is a proverb from at least the 1500s. "April showers bring (May) mud (puddles)" is a variation that has been printed on several images.…
“God shared his grapes with me” (“America the Beautiful” mondegreen)
"God shared his grapes with me" is a mondegreen of "God shed his grace on thee," a line in the patriotic hymn "America the Beautiful." The misheard lyric has been…
“JosĂ©, can you see” (“Star-Spangled Banner” mondegreen)
"José, can you see" is a popular mondegreen of "O say can you see," the first line in Francis Scott Key's "Star-Spangled Banner" (the U.S. national anthem).…
“Hey, remember when you didn’t need coffee to function and your back didn’t hurt?”
"Remember when you didn't need coffee to function and your back didn't hurt?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular in October 2019, but…