“Substitute” is often jocularly spelled “substitoot.” A musical riddle was cited in print in 1882:
Q: What should a man be called who takes the place of another in a brass band?
A: A substitoot.
A “substitoot” can also be a farting substitute teacher.. “Replacement teacher farted that’s a substitoot” was posted on Twitter on September 3, 2015. A riddle was posted on the website The Amazingly Lame Joke of the Day on January 26, 2017:
Q: What do you call a temporary teacher fart?
A: A substitoot.
“What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?”/“A private tooter” is a related joke.
4 October 1882, Decatur (IL) Morning Herald, pg. 2, col. 3:
What should a man be called who takes the place of another in a brass band? A substitoot.
10 March 1892, Concordia (KS) Empire, pg. 4, col. 7:
Flats: You are not playing with the band to=day? Sharps: No: I sent a substitoot.
Twitter
Casey
@FaZeSwan
@Ahdapting same bro. I has histery right naow and there are a substitoot teacher and i’m have a lot of boredness and want to sleep
10:43 AM - 28 Nov 2012
Twitter
Nick Kennedy
@nickennedy10
Replacement teacher farted that’s a substitoot #RapLikeLilWayne
9:23 PM - 3 Sep 2013
Twitter
Cameron Jesseph
@CameronJesseph
That sub stunk because she was a substiTOOT
9:59 AM - 17 Dec 2013
Twitter
Connor Searle
@connorhea
Our sub in chemistry passed gas, call that a substiTOOT. #RapLikeLilWayne
1:20 PM - 18 Mar 2014
Twitter
Pun Queen
@ourdailypun
What do you call a professor who struggles with gas? A substitoot teacher.
10:20 AM - 2 Apr 2015
The Amazingly Lame Joke of the Day
Thursday, January 26, 2017
What do you call a temporary teacher fart?
A substitoot.
Posted by Tim Wycislak at 5:15 AM
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
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