A “hare”/“hair” pun was published in Family Weekly magazine in November 1976:
A woman who lived alone had an urge to cook a rabbit stew when she saw a rabbit displayed in a butchershop window. Since the rabbit was too large for one person, she asked the butcher if she could buy just half of it.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “We don’t split hares.”
“May I buy half a rabbit?”/“No, we don’t split hares!” is a popular version of the joke that was posted on Twitter on July 29, 2009. The rabbit joke is sometimes included in joke collections about the Easter bunny.
14 November 1976, Austin (TX) American-Statesman, “Quips & Quotes” by Richard Armour, Family Weekly, pg. 39, col. 4:
A woman who lived alone had an urge to cook a rabbit stew when she saw a rabbit displayed in a butchershop window. Since the rabbit was too large for one person, she asked the butcher if she could buy just half of it.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “We don’t split hares.”
—Conrad Fiorello
Google Books
The Reader’s Digest
Volume 109
1976
Pg. 108:
A woman who lived alone had an urge to cook a rabbit stew when she saw a rabbit displayed in a butchershop window. Since the rabbit was too large for one person, however, she asked the butcher if she could buy just half of it.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “We don’t split hares.” —Angle Papadakii
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Puns of the Weak 4/20/01
Stan Kegel
4/21/01
(...)
What did the butcher reply when a lady asked if she could by half a rabbit?
“No! I donąt want to split hares.” (James D. Ertner)
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Puns of the Weak: 03/01/02
Stan Kegel
3/1/02
(...)
Customer: “Can I purchase half a rabbit?”
Butcher: “No! We don’t split hares.” (Lederer & Ertner)
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Puns of the Weak 10/11/02
Stan Kegel
10/11/02
(...)
I wanted to buy a half a rabbit, but the butcher didn’t want to split hares. (Carol’s Humor)
Twitter
Sneha Singh Cataria
@SnehaKataria
I wanted to buy a half a rabbit, but the butcher didn’t want to split hares…Ouch! *tries to laugh*..
11:30 AM - 4 Jun 2009
Twitter
Bollywood Sargam
@bollywoodsargam
Rabbit jokes - 8194 Joke: May I buy half a rabbit?
No, we don’t split hares! .... http://bit.ly/LJ5Qo
7:05 PM - 29 Jul 2009
Twitter
EasterJokes
@EasterJokes
Q: May I buy half a rabbit?
A: No, we don’t split hares! Happy Easter Jokes
6:57 PM - 8 Apr 2012
Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“I came, I saw, I coffee’d” (7/25)
•“Love ordering food hate answering the door” (7/25)
•“Can anyone tell me what oblivious means? I have no idea” (7/21)
•“Sundays were made for good coffee, good music, and being lazy with the people you love” (7/21)
•“The people who currently own this world don’t care which ruler you choose. They care only that you keep choosing to be ruled” (7/21)
More new entries...
Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik. These are the Cookies and Privacy Policies.